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Surviving Burnout: Tips for Thriving in a Fast-Paced World
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Have you ever been at a point in your life where you feel like you are empty, lacking motivation, and mentally exhausted? More than likely you are experiencing burnout. Unfortunately, life keeps pushing forward, and it becomes difficult to pour from an empty cup. This can become very overwhelming for many. You might desire a break to be filled again, but if you lack the opportunity for that break, what can you do to fill your cup again? In this blog, we will provide you with the tools to refresh even when you don’t have the opportunity to truly slow down.
What is Burnout?
Burnout is a feeling where your mental and emotional state is depleted and it becomes exhausting to even perform basic day-to-day tasks. The feeling of burnout can be caused by many things such as your job, home life, financial hardships, personal problems, or a combination of these. It can have a significant impact on your daily life, leading to feelings of frustration, irritability, and disengagement from work or personal relationships. It's incredibly common to feel overwhelmed and depleted especially when you’re constantly putting others before yourself.
What Can You Do To Support Yourself?
If you're experiencing burnout, you must recognize the symptoms and take steps to prevent it from negatively impacting your daily life. Here are some practical strategies to help you cope with burnout:
Take Time For Yourself: It's essential to prioritize self-care and take time for yourself. This can include engaging in activities that you enjoy, such as reading, taking a bath, or going for a walk. Make sure to set aside time each day for self-care, even if it's just 10 minutes.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and sensations throughout your body. Practicing mindfulness can help you reduce stress, improve your mood, and increase your overall well-being. There are many mindfulness practices, including meditation, deep breathing, and yoga.
Set Boundaries: This is a BIG one! It’s okay to say “no”. It's important to set boundaries in your personal and professional life to prevent burnout. This can include saying no to extra work or social engagements you don't have the time or energy for or setting limits on how much time you spend on certain activities.
Get Enough Sleep: Getting enough sleep is important for optimal health in general, but prioritizing sleep can help your brain reset allowing clarity for the following day. You can do this by establishing a regular sleep routine, avoiding caffeine before bedtime, and creating a relaxing sleep environment.
Engage In Physical Activity: Regular physical activity can help reduce stress, and improve your mood. Even just a 10-minute walk can have significant benefits.
Seek Support: If you're feeling burnt out, it's important to seek support from friends, family, and even a therapist. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you feel less isolated and more supported.
We understand that burnout can have a significant impact on your daily life, but there are practical strategies that you can use to cope with it. By prioritizing yourself you can prevent burnout from negatively impacting your well-being. If you are needing support with moving forward out of your burnout state, consider reaching out to one of our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy. In conclusion, we want you to know that you are not alone and we are here to be a resource and support in your journey. We also have additional resources throughout our website such as links to mediation videos, a free downloadable eBook, and blogs that target more specific areas you might need support with.
Coping With Grief - 6 Ways to Support Your Journey
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Grief…it’s an unavoidable part of life that can be incredibly painful and potentially debilitating for some. It isn’t linear and there’s no timeline to be followed. Grief can be described as a singular emotion and yet there are many emotions involved making it feel like a whirlwind. When someone is on the roller coaster of grief recovery they may find it easy to place their own needs on the back burner or have thoughts of “what’s the point?”. Our goal in this blog is to support you in your pain and provide resources to help you find relief. In this blog, we will provide you with simple coping tools to support yourself in this season of your life.
What Should You Do While Grieving?
Give Yourself Permission - this is so important during your grieving journey. In the previous “All About Grief” blog we discussed the Five Stages of Grief and one of the stages is the denial stage. Many times when we are in the denial stage of our grief, we will have feelings of numbness or even keep busy to keep our mind off the situation. If you find yourself in this position, give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions you need. This can immensely support your process. We want to remind you that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there are no right or wrong feelings to feel, but we encourage you to give yourself permission to feel them. Your grief journey is intensely personal and you are allowed to experience it no matter what it may look like.
Eat Well - Eating a balanced diet is beneficial for life in general, but it can be extremely supportive when you are experiencing major emotional fluctuations. We’re not medical doctors, however, during a grieving period, eating extra protein, omegas, and food high in B vitamins can positively impact potential mood swings. Higher protein foods like eggs, turkey, and greek yogurt can support balancing blood sugar levels. Foods high in B vitamins like bananas can provide serotonin boosts and omega-rich food like fish provide DHA and EPA which are both linked to lowering depression levels. It’s always best to consult your physician before making changes to your diet. They can also provide additional dietary and supplement options based on your personal needs.
Move Your Body - Gentle movement can support your body in the midst of grief as well. Stepping outside to go for a walk will allow you to receive Vitamin D from the sun, which supports mood, and movement releases dopamine and serotonin in your brain which are the “feel good” hormones.
Write A Letter - Some people who have lost a loved one, experience regret for not being able to express something to that person they lost. Writing them a letter is a great way to express those things you might not have been able to. You may also be experiencing many levels of emotions and “brain dumping” on paper can help you organize your thoughts or express things you may not be able to say out loud.
Keep a Routine - Because grief comes with major life shifts, finding small things within your control can be supportive to some people. This can be as simple as making your bed as soon as you get up in the morning, or laying out your clothes for the next day before you go to bed at night. Keeping a routine can provide or return a sense of normalcy and structure to your life.
Find Others Who Are Grieving - Having those around you who understand the depth of what you are going through can provide a sense of security and comfort while riding the waves of this grieving journey. There are many grief support groups that you can find locally and there are options for therapy services as well.
If you find yourself in the ebbs and flows of grief, having someone to provide a safe and secure place to process can support you in moving closer to the shoreline of acceptance. Therapy can provide tools to process the trauma that may be involved with the grief you’re experiencing, or find ways to cope with the emotions that suddenly arise when there is a trigger. Life By Design Therapy has a staff that is ready to support you with this journey. You can find free resources on our website or you can schedule your free phone consultation to get started.
**If you’re interested in expanding your knowledge on grief and how to support those that are grieving, check out these books below:
Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.
The Unique Path of Grief: Why Everyone Processes Loss in Their Own Way
By Melody Wright, LMFT
If you have ever grieved anything, you understand that the process is personal and complex. It is a unique experience that cannot be compared to anyone else's, and it can manifest differently for each individual. Grieving timelines, methods of coping, and the emotions experienced by the person can be completely different than another person's experience. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to walk this process out. It can be helpful to understand how people cope with grief so that you can be better equipped to support yourself or someone else who may be going through this difficult process.
What is Grief?
Grief is a natural and universal response to loss. While grief is most commonly associated with the loss of a loved one, it can also be felt during the loss of an important relationship, health issues, loss of a job, and even moving to a new home. Grief can be described as a basket of emotions because you can have multiple feelings at once, even some that you might not expect.
For instance, let’s think about an adult child caring for their parent with dementia during the final stages of their life. This caretaker watches the person they love lose themselves little by little, as well as the ability to take care of their everyday basic needs. As time moves forward, the parent passes away and the caretaker finds themselves feeling relieved and then guilty for feeling relieved.
The reality is, while this may not have been the emotion that was anticipated for the grieving process, it’s perfectly normal and okay to feel this sense of relief and sadness at the same time.
The 5 Stages of Grief
I’m sure you have heard of The Five Stages of Grief. These guidelines are an attempt to explain the different stages of grief and the emotions that may come up. Each stage of grief has its own unique set of challenges and emotions associated with it, but they all eventually lead to acceptance of the loss. By recognizing the signs and symptoms associated with each stage, we can learn how to better manage our emotions as we move through the grieving process or support others with their process.
The five stages of grief are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. However, as we mentioned before, grief is not a one-size-fits-all and you can experience two or three of these stages all at once. So what are some of the symptoms and emotions that are associated with each stage?
Denial - you may feel easily distracted, numb, confused, or even find yourself staying busy to keep your mind off your new reality.
Anger - during this stage you may feel upset with yourself and others. It may come out as irritability, frustration, impatience, etc.
Bargaining - you may find yourself negotiating with a higher power or making deals with yourself. You may also experience guilt, shame, insecurity, and anxiety.
Depression - during this stage you may find yourself weeping more, feeling sadness, fear, regret, or uncertainty. There might also be changes in your appetite, sleep patterns, and energy levels.
Acceptance - here you will find yourself beginning to emotionally detach. You’ll have the ability to be more present, vulnerable, and engage with reality.
Why Does Grief Look Different for Everyone?
The answer is simply…everyone is different. We all have different stories, perspectives, and traumas that we work through during a grieving process. However you may be experiencing grief, it’s perfectly ok. There is no right and wrong way to process and you have permission to feel exactly the way you need to feel to work through your grief journey. For some, grief is a debilitating experience, and for those journeying that out, it is helping to have someone to support you in your process and provide tools to help you move forward. If you find yourself in a situation like this, consider scheduling a free phone consultation with one of our qualified clinicians here at Life By Design Therapy.
**If you’re interested in expanding your knowledge on grief and how to support those that are grieving, check out these books below:
Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.
Unpacking the Pain: Steps to Healing from Racial Trauma
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Now that we’ve put a name to the invisible foe of Racial Trauma, we can begin to find ways to acknowledge the pain and heal. If you’re curious as to what we are talking about head over to the previous blog ACKNOWLEDGING RACIAL TRAUMA: A PATH TO HEALING AND UNDERSTANDING as a prerequisite to this read. Racial Trauma can be a confusing and painful experience to endure, and as we mentioned in the previous blog, you are not alone. Your feelings and experiences are valid. In this blog, you will find ways to cope, resources, and learn new ways to heal.
Healing Begins Here
Finding your footing on where to start your healing journey can be challenging. Racial trauma is something that is complex and individualized. Like grief, racial trauma is something that is not diagnosed clinically, yet is a very real experience, which can potentially leave you feeling confused. So what can you do to begin your healing process?
Discuss Your Experience - Start talking to those around you that you trust. Having friends and family to bounce thoughts off of, share stories with, and even flow through emotions can create a safe space for healing. You may find that those around you have experienced or are experiencing similar thoughts and emotions as you are.
Seek Support - Not only can you find support with friends and family, but there are also community resources available, therapy services, and religious/spiritual services available to you. If you are a student, you can check with your school for programs and resources for those your age as well. Having this support can provide you with comfort and validation.
Engage In Self-Care Practices - Due to the stress that is put on the body in traumatic situations, it is essential to engage in self-care practices. Self-care practices are not one-size-fits-all, so take some time to figure out what works for you. That could be enjoying a bike ride after work, getting up early to drink your coffee and meditate, reciting affirmations to yourself on your drive to work, or practicing breathing techniques. The goal is to reduce stress on the body and bring awareness to what you’re experiencing.
Empower Other Voices - Your story will bring healing to others who are hurting. By participating in community outreach and activism, your story has the potential to reach many others who haven’t been able to put a name to their invisible foe. You may also have the ability to educate others outside of the BIPOC community about the importance of mental health among those experiencing racial trauma. You will see that as you use your voice, you will empower other voices to rise up and bring awareness to this systemic issue.
Here at Life By Design Therapy, we acknowledge the vulnerability it takes to move through the complexities of racial trauma. We want to be a resource for you on your healing journey. We have a staff that carries a social justice lens, cultural competency, and relatability to ensure that you are receiving the safety and support you need. If you are interested in working with one of our therapists please click HERE to schedule your free phone consultation today.
If you didn’t get a chance to check our list of resources in the previous blog, we’ve included it here!
Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad
White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing by Joy a Degruy
The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America by Richard Rothstein
Caste (Oprah's Book Club): The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Dr. Robin DiAngelo
The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Everyone and How We Can Prosper Together by Heather McGhee
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.
Acknowledging Racial Trauma: A Path to Healing and Understanding
By Melody Wright, LMFT
There is an invisible force that has been silently affecting the lives of those with extra melanin in their skin. For centuries many people have felt this force in their day-to-day lives, yet they haven’t been able to name it. Some have described it as a cloud that follows them and never seems to lift. Others feel as though they must question their own thoughts and feelings with simple daily tasks. So what is this invisible foe? The answer is racial trauma.
What is Racial Trauma?
Racial trauma is physical, emotional, and mental distress experienced by the BIPOC community due to racism in society. The reason we are calling racial trauma the invisible foe is due to the fact that it is not something that is experienced during a single isolated event, but rather something that stacks over time by continual exposure either directly or indirectly. Racial trauma is also something that is rarely acknowledged as a valid human experience, which causes confusion throughout the community.
Signs of Racial Trauma
Now that we’ve put a name to our foe, I’m sure you are wondering what signs of racial trauma are. Some people experience anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, and even feelings of guilt and shame around regular day-to-day tasks. However, did you know that trauma can be stored in the body? It’s possible that you may be experiencing physical symptoms in response to the long-term effects of stress from racial trauma. Physical symptoms can include insomnia, headaches, and hypervigilance. The more exposure to racial trauma the more you may see these physical symptoms could intensify.
Indirect vs Direct Racial Trauma
Exposure to racial trauma is a different experience for each individual. This trauma can come in the form of direct or indirect exposure. Unfortunately, many BIPOCs experience both in today's society.
Indirect racial trauma is probably the most predominant form of exposure. This can look like watching the news and finding out about police brutality in your area, having a family dinner out, and overhearing conversations with discriminatory phrases. These situations affect you without being necessarily directed at you. They may stimulate feelings of worry, anger, or confusion, all of which are valid responses to what you’ve experienced.
Direct racial trauma exposure is discrimination that is specifically directed at you. For example, you are at the grocery store buying some snacks for a gathering you’re having and you accidentally bump into someone. When you turn to apologize you are met with someone who responds with a racially motivated insult. After this, you may have feelings of anger and resentment, but you may also experience thoughts that make you think there is something wrong with you for having a different skin color.
Acknowledging The Invisible Foe
It is important to remember that you are not alone in your experience with racial trauma. This is a real thing that many people struggle with. Acknowledging racial trauma is the first step towards creating more awareness about its effects on people’s mental health. We must also strive to create an environment where people feel safe to talk about their experiences without fear of judgment. There are many people out there who understand what you’re going through and can provide support and resources to help you cope with the pain. If you are wondering where to start, finding a culturally competent therapist would be a great first step. At Life By Design Therapy we have a staff that is culturally competent, carries a social justice lens, and is relatable. If you are interested in working with our team please click HERE to schedule your free phone consultation.
**If you’re interested in expanding your knowledge on race-related matters, check out these books below:
Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad
White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing by Joy a Degruy
The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America by Richard Rothstein
Caste (Oprah's Book Club): The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Dr. Robin DiAngelo
The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Everyone and How We Can Prosper Together by Heather McGhee
**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.
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The Surprising Truth About Compatible Relationships
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Did you love them? Of course...Did they love you? Absolutely. So why didn’t work out? This is a question so many couples have asked themselves. And maybe this blog will help give you some understanding and fresh eyes on your situation. Unfortunately, what it comes down to is love and compatibility are two different things. We, as emotional beings, tend to mix these two things up.
Compatibility, according to Merriam-Webster, is the ability to co-exist in harmony or something designed to work with another device or system without modification. People often believe that compatibility means two people are the same or very similar to each other. This is not true. Compatibility is about how two people can complement each other and balance their differences.
COMPATIBILITY VS CHEMISTRY
The butterflies, doe eyes, and mushy phrases pay tribute to the chemistry between two people. Chemistry with someone is the emotional connection between those that are in the relationship. It's that spark! Compatibility, on the other hand, is like that rational best friend. It brings a sense of balance to the relationship. You can have compatibility with someone without really feeling anything for them or feeling attracted to them. Compatibility usually refers to how well two people work together on a professional level or how easy they are to live with on a personal level. So how do you determine compatibility? To determine compatibility, you need to know what someone is like and how they prefer things done in their life. But, you also need to know what you are like and what you want, as well. This is true for all relationships, from friendships to romantic ones.
Here are a few questions to ask your partner…
Does anything ever stop you from apologizing, even when you’re wrong?
Do you desire a long-term partnership?
Do you believe in non-monogamy?
What are your views on finances between couples?
Do you believe in spirituality? If so, where are you at in your spiritual journey?
How would you support your partner in following their dreams?
What was your relationship like with your parents growing up and how do you see that it’s affected you now?
Compatibility Isn’t Perfection
Contrary to how it may come across, compatibility is not perfection! I’m sure your ideal partner is someone who fits into your life without compromise. Which is much like dating yourself. Unfortunately, that’s just not how it works. Relationships are meant to challenge you to some degree. If you were never challenged, you would never grow as a person. Compatibility isn’t all or nothing. It’s easy to disqualify people and choose to not get to know them if you find that there is one interest that does not align with yours. There is work involved in the togetherness of a relationship, but it’s how well you work together to reach your goals and dreams that determines compatibility.
HAVING A STRONG FOUNDATION
To manage a safe and trusting relationship, it’s always good to be mentally and emotionally secure yourself. Having practices of self-care and self-growth will promote healthy communication between you and a partner. One of the ways to support yourself is to have a solid support system to bounce ideas off of, vent when needed, and provide tools to continue to move forward with your personal journey.
Therapy is an amazing tool to have in your relationship toolbox. There is a misconception that you have to have a “mental illness” to attend therapy, this just simply isn't true. Attending therapy as an individual has many benefits, but when you attend with your partner, your growth opportunities are endless. Asking your partner to attend regular therapy is a great way to determine compatibility and build a solid, trusting, and emotionally honest relationship. If you are interested in speaking with a qualified clinician, click HERE to schedule a free phone consultation to explore your options.
The Power of Dealbreakers: How Knowing What You Won't Tolerate Can Save You Heartache
By Melody Wright, LMFT
We’ve all been there at one point or another. Glued to our couch, calling our friends with tissues galore, mindlessly scrolling and doing whatever we can to try to feel a little better. Another relationship. Another heartbreak. The pain is real. The loss is present. It hurts so bad.
During this difficult time, it's normal to question “what went wrong?”.
There are three things that can never be returned: time, words, and love. And while it is easy to get caught up in the moment you're falling for someone, it's important to know what your dealbreakers are from the start. Being in a secure, connected, enjoyable and emotionally safe relationship is key, so before stepping into your next relationship determine what your absolute dealbreakers are. Here's a few ideas to support your journey…
Abuse - this is any type of abuse such as Physical, Mental, or Emotional. Unfortunately, when abuse occurs many people may feel like it will never happen again. Remember that you are worth having safe and secure relationships and it's important to be clear on your boundaries around this.
They’re Hiding You - while timing is relevant here, this should be a red flag that something may not be right. If they are clearly keeping you a secret, it's best to discuss this with them and be direct. If they are not able to be transparent about their reasoning, this could indicate some serious problems that could show up later in the relationship (i.e. cheating, feeling embarrassed by you or difficulty committing to a serious relationship).
Substance Abuse and Addiction - you might find yourself in a situation where you are put in a compromising position with drugs or alcohol, especially if you have a family history or strong personal beliefs around drug and alcohol use. If this is you, it's important to ground yourself in what is acceptable to you and what situations may be too much. Being in a relationship with someone with an addiction can be taxing, build resentments, and create conflict so having these open and honest conversations is key.
There are many other things that can go unnoticed while in the excitement of a new relationship. Besides the major dealbreakers here are a few questions to ask yourself when deciding what your dealbreakers are…
Are they able to set their own boundaries?
Do they know how to identify their needs and communicate them?
How do they handle feedback or boundary setting?
What is their response when they are angry or offended?
What are their thoughts on marriage and children?
What are their political and spiritual values and stances?
What is their communication style and how do they handle uncomfortable situations?
Now that you have some questions to chew on, let's talk about why it is important to know the dealbreakers before you step into the relationship. When you are in a relationship where you’re having to compromise yourself to keep someone around, it can really take a toll on your mental health. It can create feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and potential anxiety and depression. Ultimately, life is way too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t align with your values and the things that are important to you. However, it's also up to you to know what you are willing to tolerate in a relationship and communicate that clearly with yourself and your partner.
We encourage you to recognize your value as a person who is worth having your needs met and that it's okay to have boundaries. If you feel as though you are having a difficult time maneuvering a relationship you’re in or finding your dealbreakers, consider reaching out to one of our skilled clinicians by clicking HERE to schedule a phone consultation.
From Panic to Peace: Effective Ways to Alleviate Anxiety When You're Feeling Overwhelmed
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, many of us may be feeling overwhelmed with any remaining upcoming events as we head into the new year. Our overwhelming feelings, if left unattended, can turn into anxious thoughts and concerns that we will not have enough time to do all the tasks we said we would do (making a dish for the New Year Party at work, cleaning the house, making final plans for your business, etc.). If any of these worries resonate with you, we’d like to offer you some tips to help reduce your anxiety when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Write it down. When we’re overwhelmed, our thoughts can feel like they are going in circles in our head, which creates more feelings of stress and anxiety. If you are worried about something, or numerous things, write it down. Make a list of the things that are currently bothering you and prioritize what things you’d like to address first. You may also find things on your list that you can’t do much about. When this happens, give your mind permission to let those things go. Creating a list and prioritizing what you will do will help you feel a sense of control, which can help reduce the feeling of overwhelm.
Schedule a time to worry. If your thoughts come and go throughout the day and distract you from your current tasks, schedule a time to worry. You may notice that by the time you get to your scheduled “worry time” your worries may have improved.
Be mindful of your caffeine and alcohol intake. Both caffeine and alcohol can give you the energy or mood boost you need to get through an upcoming event, but they can also impact your anxiety levels. If you’re able to cut down on the amount of caffeine or alcohol that you consume, it may improve how you feel and decrease your anxiety levels.
Practice grounding exercises. Whether you prefer deep breathing or guided imagery, implementing a grounding exercise in the middle of feeling overwhelmed can help bring you back to a focused, calm state. This is especially true if you are about to head into a busy shopping mall or chaotic family gathering – grounding yourself before these events can help you walk in with a calm demeanor and zen state of mind.
Identify your triggers.You may notice that you consistently feel anxious or overwhelmed when you see certain people or places (ie. a family member or the doctor’s office). See if you’re able to identify who or what situations make you anxious. Consider if there is anything you can do about these triggers (limit time with a family member, have someone with you when you go to the doctor’s office, etc.)
Spend time with and in your community. Spending time with your friends can help you feel supported and improve your mood. Volunteering in your community can also help give you a sense of belonging.
Talk to someone you trust. Whether you choose to talk to a friend or your significant other, talking to someone you trust about your feelings may help ease your mental load. Talking to others can help give you a different perspective on what’s currently troubling you. They may even offer to help with some of the things on your to-do list.
Take a walk. Getting outside and moving your body helps release endorphins, which trigger positive feelings in your body.
Make time for rest. The average person needs about 7 hours of sleep a night to properly rest. Take a moment to see if you’re getting enough rest. If not, your lack of sleep may be contributing to your current feelings.
Redirect your focus. If practicing grounding exercises is not for you, doing other activities when feeling anxious may help you interrupt your anxious thoughts. Completing a household chore, watering your plants, or getting out to mail out a letter can help redirect your focus and get an item checked off your to-do list.
We hope these tips can help calm your mind and provide an opportunity to regulate any physical symptoms you may be experiencing as a result of anxiety.
If you’d like to learn more about anxiety, feel free to check out our previous blog posts where we discuss anxiety, anxious responses, and offer other strategies to address anxious thoughts. For additional support, click here to connect to one of our experienced therapists.
Healing from the Inside Out: Long-Term Strategies for Managing Anger
By Melody Wright, LMFT
As part of our final blog for our “All About Anger” series, we’d like to introduce you to some resources and options for how to address your anger, and its effects, long term. Learning skills such as deep breathing and identifying when to take a step back may keep your anger at bay for that moment, but can pose a challenge when you remain angry even after that moment has passed. If you’re interested in taking a deeper dive into understanding and addressing anger, we highly recommend the following:
Begin to bring awareness to your physical or emotional cues that your body experiences when you become angry. Most people will have certain physical and emotional cues that let them know they are beginning to feel angry (grinding teeth, sharp pain in their back, feeling increasingly warm, etc.). Learning more about your cues can help you begin to identify when your anger levels are beginning to rise even if you may not immediately realize what is happening in your body.
Join an anger support group. Some individuals learn better from hearing others share similar thoughts or experiences. If you feel like joining a supportive community that will help you learn more about your anger and strategies to address it, look into local centers or community agencies that can offer support.
Read a book or online article about the cycles of anger and aggression. If reading and learning are some of your fortes, there’s a lot you can learn from others that can help you identify the patterns that surround anger and aggression. These patterns or cycles usually reflect a situation or event that sparks anger, your reaction to that event/situation, and the aftermath of your reaction. Once you are able to identify how that cycle plays out in your day to day activities, you can use different strategies (like stopping your thoughts before you react) to prevent a “blow up” or display signs of aggression.
Talk to a therapist. Anger can stem from different places, and at its worst, can begin to impact your relationships, career goals, and overall physical health. It is okay to tap into different methods of support when you haven’t been able to identify the strategy that works best for you. A therapist can collaborate with you to learn more about where your anger stems from, and what skills can be used to address your anger.
We hope that our All About Anger series has given you a few different tips to reign in your anger when you feel it building up. As always, our licensed therapists are able and available to help you in your journey to address anger, and the other emotions associated with anger (aggression, frustration, overwhelm). Don’t hesitate to reach out should you need additional support.
Parenting in the Modern World: Tips and Strategies for Keeping Your Child Safe
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Becoming a parent can be one of the most rewarding, exciting, and joyous times in someone’s life. It can also be one of the scariest, overwhelming, and emotional times in a parent’s life – both sets of emotions are valid and can be felt at the same time. Leading up to the arrival of a new baby, many parents talk about things to prepare for such as the cost of childcare, how to set up the nursery, and each parent’s approach to child rearing. Once a child has arrived, many parents realize that there are many important topics that may not have been on their radar prior to the child’s birth. These topics can include addressing issues that occurred during childbirth (traumatic births, unplanned c-sections, etc.), unexpected health concerns for your child, and discussing safety concerns in order to keep a child protected. All of these topics can leave a parent wondering, in a world that is full of unexpected changes and factors, how can I keep my child safe?
Keeping a child safe can look different depending on the context and setting that you’re in. Is your child a newborn? You may be trying to keep them safe from illness or unnecessary exposure to germs. Is your child a teenager? You may be trying to keep your teenager safe from cyberbullying or negative peer pressure. In a perfect world, we would be able to provide protection to our children in all settings and at all ages, yet we know this is not always feasible or realistic. Children need exposure to different settings and situations in order to learn how to navigate the world on their own. That said, we can still do our best to protect our children within certain settings, and teach our children how to stay safe.
Keeping your child safe can include:
Protecting them from illnesses such as RSV, the Flu, or Covid. Encourage your child to wear a mask whenever they are indoors or in crowded places. Talk with your partner about your stance and choice on vaccinations that can protect your child from respiratory and other illnesses. Remind your child to practice basic hand hygiene whenever they touch others or frequently-touched surfaces.
Setting boundaries with friends, family, and loved ones. Our friends and families may have the best intentions for our children, but their intentions may not always be in alignment with our parenting approach. It is important that you relay your expectations to your family members regarding their interactions with your child (no kissing your newborn’s face, asking for consent before hugging your toddler, not making negative comments regarding a challenge your teen is experiencing). If those expectations are not met, then you can decide the level of contact that you’d like to continue to have with this family member.
Teaching your child skills for personal safety. While we always strive to do our best to protect our children from physical harm, we know there will be a day when they will need to learn how to keep themselves safe. Whether you choose to enroll your child in a self-defense class, or use daily interactions to teach your child how to assess for danger, preparing your children to keep themselves safe can put some of your worries at ease.
Additional resources to learn more about child safety can be found here:
Protecting your child from Covid: https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/coronavirus-young-kids.html
General safety tips for children: https://www.ahaparenting.com/read/top-safety-tips-kids
If you find yourself having overwhelming thoughts that your child will be harmed or consistent worries about your child’s health and well-being, you may benefit from speaking to one of our licensed therapists. Parents who have recently welcomed a child into their home can be particularly vulnerable to experiencing a Perinatal Mood Disorder after the delivery of a new child. A mood disorder can significantly affect how often a parent worries for their child’s safety, often to the point of losing sleep or being unable to attune to their child’s needs. Support and information from a mental health provider can begin to reduce a new parent’s concerns and improve their overall mood and attunement. For more information on connecting to one of our licensed therapists, click here.
Unpacking the Roots of Anger: Understanding Its Origins and How to Manage It
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Our current blog series, “All About Anger,” focuses on providing information about anger, myths and facts associated with anger, where anger comes from, and tools and strategies to address anger as an emotion. Understanding where your anger comes from can help you learn more about yourself, and give you insight as to what strategies can help you address anger.
Understanding where your anger stems from may help to identify certain situations, feelings, or things that usually lead to you experiencing anger. These can be considered your triggers, or red flags, and can include the following:
People that get in the way of you achieving your goals
Situations that bring up sensitive topics from childhood (ie. someone talking about their child being bullied, not knowing you were also bullied as a child)
Daily life interactions can be annoying, but the presence of other stressors can make you angry, such as being stuck in traffic or having a family member be inconsiderate of your needs
Having negative or emotionally charged interactions with others, both in-person and online
Reading stories or posts about a topic that you strongly disagree with
As you may notice, these situations can occur on a daily basis, and generally are outside of our control. With all of these opportunities to become angry, what can we do to prevent it? Next time you’re feeling angry, try one of the following strategies to see if you can regulate your emotions:
Take a step back: If you are actively in a situation that is raising your anger levels, take a step back. Giving yourself a much-needed break from a situation or conversation that is making you angry can help you clear your head before choosing to continue a conversation, or removing yourself from a situation altogether.
Talk to someone you trust: Getting an outside perspective to a problem or issue that is making you angry can help you adjust your thought process and relieve negative feelings.
Take a walk: If it’s difficult for you to take a timeout from a situation without letting your mind wander back to the issue making you angry, redirecting your attention to physical exercise can help you ease your frustrations.
Make a joke: If you appreciate and use humor to break the tension, and the situation is appropriate, making a joke can help you release some of your anger.
We hope these strategies have widened your options in the way you usually address anger. Not all strategies may work for you, but we encourage you to try the ones that feel right based on your needs and preferences. In our next blog, you will learn more about some long-term options to help address anger. If you need to speak to someone today about how to address your anger, please schedule a free consultation.
From Adolescence to Adulthood: The Long-Term Effects of Youth Mental Health
By Melody Wright, LMFT
As part of our final blog for our Youth Mental Health series, we wanted to share some information on the role that a youth’s mental health can have in their transition into adulthood. The support that our children and teens receive for their mental health will shape the way they will approach future mental health concerns, and their health in general, as they become adults. It is important that we understand the impact we can have on our teens, and the benefits they can experience if we are proactive about providing them with support.
Listening to our youth’s concerns regarding their mental health and providing them with adequate support can show them that we care about them and their needs and that it is important to prioritize our overall health. Alternatively, not providing support for their mental health can impact their transition into adulthood and how they view their mental health concerns. With appropriate support, our teens can experience the following as they transition into adulthood:
Reduced stigma and shame as they talk about their Mental Health with others
Feel encouraged to access mental health services when they feel they are struggling
Be willing to support others that share similar struggles or issues with their mental health
Continue to have an open and honest discussion with you regarding their current needs and areas that need additional support
In addition to adequately addressing their mental health, supporting our youth’s physical, mental, and emotional needs can also help them in the following areas:
Developing the ability to engage in healthy friendships and romantic relationships that prioritize their need for a positive environment and support system
Increase their overall self-esteem
Increase their ability to independently engage in the healthcare services they need
A teen’s mental health will influence many factors, including their overall self-esteem, willingness to access care, and how they’re able to engage in services that support their needs. It is important that we learn how to best support them in order to positively influence their transition into adulthood. The type of relationship that a teen has with their parents, as well as the support they receive for their mental health, can make a significant impact on how they navigate complex situations, relationships, and other significant life events in adulthood. If you’d like to learn more about how to support your teen or want to get them connected to an experienced mental health provider, click here to schedule an appointment.
Anger Unmasked: Separating Myth from Fact
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Anger is an intense emotion that someone usually feels when someone has wronged them, or something has gone wrong. The emotion can range from mild to intense and can be felt along with other emotions depending on the context (frustration, impatience, sadness, etc.) While anger can be a very normal and natural emotion to feel, there is a lot of misinformation regarding anger and people who experience anger. Below are some myths about anger, as well as some information regarding those myths.
Myth: Anger can only be felt as a negative emotion and does not have any value.
Fact: Anger can be felt as a result of a positive reason, such as feeling angry over an injustice made toward another or a group of people. It can give you the motivation you need to advocate for positive change or rally for support toward a specific cause.Myth: We will never be able to change the way we react when we are angry.
Fact: Our reactions are behaviors that we learned to do over time. Even if we feel like we inherited our anger from our parents, or that we react just like a close family member, we are able to make changes to the way we behave when we’re angry. Additionally, we can learn ways to regulate ourselves so that we are not quick to anger.Myth: Anger always leads to violence and aggression.
Fact: Anger can sometimes be felt in a positive context, and does not always lead to someone becoming violent or aggressive. By learning certain skills and strategies, we can learn to adjust or modify our behavior in order to not become violent or aggressive when angry.Myth: Being angry and aggressive can show others that you are strong and determined.
Fact: Aggression is defined as hostile and violent behavior towards others. Many people have learned that using anger and aggression can help them manipulate others into doing what they want. These behaviors are usually not associated with someone who is strong or determined. That being said, learning how to be assertive can help you gain respect from others without needing to display anger or aggression.Myth: It is important to always “let out” your anger.
Fact: There are different ways to manage your anger, and not all of them have to include a physical response to release anger (ie. walking out of your house to scream or hitting a punching bag). These physical displays of anger can lead to increased anger or aggression. There are other strategies that someone can learn to address their anger that reduce these intense emotions, instead of amplifying them.
While anger can be used productively and felt in a positive context, it can become a problem when it is felt too often, too intensely, and is expressed inappropriately. Experiencing feelings of anger too often can cause increased stress on the body, lead to other emotions such as aggression, and can impact those around us. If you notice that your anger is creating issues for you or those around you, you are not alone. Many people experience challenges when it comes to feeling anger, and we’ll share more information regarding how to address anger in our upcoming blogs. For immediate support, we always encourage our readers to book an appointment with one of our licensed therapists.
The Fine Line: Distinguishing between Anxiety and Trauma
By Melody Wright, LMFT
When talking about mental health with others, you might notice that some of the signs and symptoms of Anxiety and Trauma may sound very familiar despite stemming from different events or diagnoses. For individuals wanting to learn more about their own mental health, or experiencing symptoms that may be related to anxiety or trauma, it can be very helpful to understand where their current symptoms stem from. This can help us seek and identify resources that will help us address our symptoms, as well as learn new ways to regulate ourselves when we feel overwhelmed or on edge.
What is Trauma?
The American Psychological Association defines trauma as an “emotional response to a terrible event” such as abuse, community violence, or experiencing significant injury or loss. The symptoms we exhibit after experiencing trauma are directly related to events that happened in our past that did not make us feel safe or put us directly in the middle of unsafe situations. Some of the symptoms that people exhibit after experiencing trauma can include fatigue, feeling sad, and hopeless, experiencing mood swings, and withdrawing from others. Some symptoms can be more severe and can have long-term impacts on an individual, including experiencing consistent flashbacks to a traumatic event, developing panic attacks, sleep problems, or anxiety (also known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder).
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety can be described as consistent and intense worrying over everyday situations, usually situations that have not yet happened yet. Anxiety sends a message to our brain that we need to do more to prepare for a possible, or upcoming, future event. Some of the physical symptoms that someone can experience when feeling anxious include a fast heart rate, sweating, and rapid breathing. While the causes of anxiety can vary, many people experience anxiety as a result of going through traumatic childhoods or events.
What Do Anxious Behaviors Look Like?
While anxious behaviors can serve a purpose when they function as part of our body’s defense mechanisms (fight, flight, freeze, etc.), they can create an issue when they occur consistently and at the wrong times. Anxious behaviors can include the following:
Ongoing feelings of nervousness, restlessness, or feeling “on-edge”
Feeling irritable
Experiencing headaches, stomach pains, or other unexplained pains
Difficulty concentrating or falling/staying asleep
What Do Trauma Responses Look Like?
Traumatic responses are your body’s reaction to trauma. They can include the following:
Inability to focus or make decisions
The need to feel guarded or alert at all times
Flashbacks or constant thoughts of a previous traumatic event
Being easily startled in settings or situations that do not require you to be on high alert
As you can see from the descriptions and symptoms above, traumatic responses and anxious behaviors can feel similar in the body. The difference between a trauma response and an anxious behavior is where the symptoms are stemming from. Are the symptoms stemming from past events that your body identified as traumatic? Or are they stemming from concerns about future events or events that have not yet taken place (anxiety)? It is also important to know that trauma and anxiety may be connected for some individuals; One can develop anxious behaviors after experiencing traumatic events.
What Can I Do?
Whether you experience anxious behaviors or trauma responses, it can feel overwhelming to see the impact they can create in our bodies. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way; 1 in 5 people experience anxiety in their lifetime, and 50-60% of people experience at least 1 traumatic event in their lives. Steps toward healing the body can be taken by learning how to regulate ourselves when we start to feel nervous, anxious, fearful, or on edge.
If you find yourself needing support to learn new skills to help you regulate, help address past trauma, or you’re interested in learning more strategies to combat your anxious thoughts, we encourage you to book a phone consultation today at Life by Design. Life by Design offers therapeutic services with qualified professionals that can give you the tools you need to help address your traumatic responses and anxious behaviors. Book a phone consultation here today for more information and to get you connected to additional support.
Supporting Our Youth: Recognizing the Red Flags of 'Toxic' Parenting"
By Melody Wright, LMFT
As part of our current monthly blog series, we’ve learned about the different factors that can contribute to and impact our teen’s mental health. We’ve also learned what warning signs we should look out for that warrant an immediate connection to a Mental Health professional, as well as what resources to tap into if we suspect that our teen is struggling with their Mental Health. While many of these factors can be created by situations that we have little control over, such as school stressors or peer pressure from friends, some factors can come as a direct result of our interactions as parents.
Many parents are unaware of the ways in which their parenting style or approach may be impacting their teens. Although at times unintentional, certain parenting approaches may negatively impact a teen’s mental and emotional health. Some of the behaviors that negatively impact a teen’s mental health, which at times are labeled as “toxic,” can include:
Yelling, name-calling, or consistently assigning blame
Using the “silent treatment” as punishment or gaslighting others to avoid accepting responsibility
Manipulating emotions by using guilt or shame
Being overly critical, invading privacy, or attempting to control all aspects of your teen’s life
Lacking boundaries
Some of these behaviors can be more easily identified than others. While yelling can be easy to recognize, assigning blame or “gaslighting” can be harder to acknowledge or point out. We also know that some of these behaviors may have been learned from our own parents or cultures, which makes it difficult to recognize that they may not be appropriate, or difficult to understand why we shouldn’t use them with our own children.
Many of us can remember certain statements, actions, or behaviors that our parents or guardians used to exhibit that made us sad, frustrated, or angry. Over time, constant exposure to these behaviors can severely impact a person’s mental health. On the contrary, exposure to empathetic and supportive behaviors can improve their mental health, and foster a relationship that can make it easier for our teens to reach out to us when they need help. These behaviors include, but are not limited to, the following:
Spending one-on-one time with your teen. This can help provide you with the time and space you need to talk to your teen about what is going on in their lives. Over time, your teen may feel comfortable enough to explain what may be impacting their Mental Health.
Listening to your child when they share there is something wrong, and not jumping to solutions or conclusions without discussing it with them first.
Having empathy for what your child is going through. While you may not understand why your child feels so strongly about a certain event or circumstance, it is important that you understand and care about what they’re experiencing.
Being kind, clear, and consistent when it comes to your teen’s need for privacy and boundaries.
Providing your teen with a sense of autonomy and respecting their space.
When emotions are high, setting a different time to have a conversation can help minimize the likelihood that you or your child will speak out of anger. Yelling, cursing, or using behaviors such as the silent treatment, are not conducive to having a productive conversation and can lead to hurt feelings. When you create a safe space to speak to your child, you increase your chances of having a more positive outcome.
Our ability to regulate our emotions, respect our teen’s space, approach their needs in a respectful manner, and have open and honest conversations with them can positively impact our relationship with our teens, as well as their overall Mental Health. If you’d like to learn more about how to adjust your parenting approach to better fit your child’s needs or are in need of support with your own Mental health, please reach out to us by scheduling a phone consultation.
Beyond the Blues: Exploring the Impact of Depression on Your Life
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Depression, What Is It?
Depression is a serious (but common) medical illness that affects how someone feels, thinks, and acts. In general, depression causes feelings of sadness and an overall loss of interest in activities that you may have previously enjoyed. Depression impacts each person differently and may even look different at various stages of your life. The length of time someone may experience depression can also vary from person to person; Some people may be able to overcome their depression within a matter of months while others may take longer. No matter what someone’s journey with depression may look like, it is important to be able to recognize the symptoms and the effects that it has on the body. Some of the symptoms related to depression vary from mild to severe, and can include the following:
Changes in appetite
Loss of energy
Feeling fatigued
Difficulty concentrating
Trouble sleeping or too much sleep
Thoughts of worthlessness, guilt, or suicidality
What Does Depression Do to the Brain?
While many associate only emotional or mental symptoms with depression, research states that it may also impact our brain. There is still much to be learned about the specific areas of the brain that are affected by depression, and how much they are affected. However, there is growing evidence that different parts of the brain may shrink, change in structure, and/or become inflamed in people with depression. These changes in the brain can lead to problems with memory, learning, and overall mood. Scientists are not yet sure if these changes have the potential to be permanent, but there is hope that treatment may help prevent or ease some of the changes that happen to the brain.
What Treatment Exists for Depression?
Treatment for depression can consist of different approaches, but primarily consists of two options, therapy and medication. Depending on what works best to address an individual’s symptoms, therapy and medication can be used individually or in combination as part of their treatment plan. The main therapeutic approaches for depression include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Holistic and Somatic (body-based) Psychotherapy
Medications for depression, also known as antidepressants, primarily work by increasing chemical levels in the brain called neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters are linked to mood and emotions. Antidepressants address different symptoms, and usually fall within the following categories:
SSRI’s: Addresses symptoms of depression and anxiety
Antidepressants: Addresses symptoms of depression and may help with other chronic conditions
Anxiolytic: Addresses anxiety, tension, and may promote sleep
Antipsychotic: Addresses symptoms of certain psychiatric conditions
When therapy and/or medication are used as treatment to address someone’s depression, research shows that it can reduce inflammation in the brain that was originally caused by depression. Engaging in therapeutic interventions may also help form new synaptic connections in the brain that were affected by depression. This can help an individual experience a drastic improvement in their overall mood and energy levels. No matter what your treatment plan looks like, addressing your symptoms with therapy or medication can help begin to minimize the toll that depression can take on the body.
I’m Not Sure How to Get Started…Where Can I Get Help?
In order to properly address depression, it is important that you speak to your doctor, therapist, and/or psychiatrist to find the treatment approach, or approaches, that work best for you. For individuals who would like to explore taking medication, it’s important to learn the side-effects that may be associated with each medication, and understand that it may take time to find the right medication for their individual needs. If you or a loved one is currently experiencing sympthttps://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/depression-therapyoms of depression, our therapists at Life by Design would be happy to connect with you and help guide the journey to healing and improved Mental Health. Click here for more information.
Navigating Trauma: How Trauma Response Varies Between Genders
By Melody Wright, LMFT
When looking at the effects of trauma on individuals, it’s important to recognize that things like gender, culture, and life experiences can influence the way we react to traumatic events. While we may not be able to change some of these attributes, such as the culture we were born into, we can learn and obtain a better understanding of how they influence our reactions to trauma so we can address those reactions accordingly.
What is Trauma
According to the American Psychological Association, trauma is “an emotional response to a terrible event” like an accident, an act of violence, or a natural disaster. People can experience both emotional and physical responses to these traumatic events in the long term.
How Does Gender Influence Trauma
Our cultures and communities tend to assign specific roles to genders; These gender roles can influence how we react to different circumstances and events, including traumatic ones. In cultures that stress traditional gender roles, where men are expected to display a stoic demeanor and women are expected to be the more vulnerable sex, traumatic responses can be heavily influenced by gender roles.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, is a disorder where a person has a difficult time processing and recovering from witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event. Studies have found that in cultures with traditional gender roles, there is a higher prevalence of women being diagnosed with PTSD. This can be attributed to women being able to feel more emotionally vulnerable in these cultures.
Gender can also impact if and when individuals will access support to process their traumatic experiences. If the expectation is for a male to remain “strong” and not be impacted by stress, they may not immediately seek support. This can affect the impact that the event can have on their mental and emotional health in the long run.
What Other Factors Influence Trauma
There are various factors that can influence how an individual reacts to trauma. Some of these factors include:
How intense the traumatic event was
Your family history and previous traumatic events
The presence of a support system, or lack of
Your current or ongoing stress levels
Alcohol or drug use
Coping Strategies
In the event that an individual experiences something traumatic, it is important to have the tools necessary to help process that event. This includes knowledge of coping strategies. Coping strategies to help process traumatic events include:
Practicing deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness
Finding or developing a new hobby or activity that gets your endorphins flowing
Establishing and reaching out to your support system
Finding a support group where others may have experienced similar trauma
Traumatic events come in all shapes and sizes, and the information and coping strategies that may help one person may not be very helpful for another. If you find yourself needing support or additional coping strategies, we encourage you to book a phone consultation today at Life by Design. Life by Design offers therapeutic services with qualified professionals that can give you the tools you need to help address your mental health. Consider booking a consultation here today.
Finding Peace in the Aging Process: Strategies for Coping with Anxiety About Growing Older
By Melody Wright, LMFT
As we begin to enter new ages and phases in our life, it can sometimes be difficult to accept that we are getting older. Whether it’s a fear of physically looking older, a concern about not being where you want to be in life, or feeling anxious about what the future holds, the concepts related to getting older sometimes have a negative connotation. If you’re feeling anxious or concerned about aging, below are some things to consider that may help you cope with your concerns and anxiety.
We’re All Getting Older
You are not the first person to age, and you will not be the last. Sometimes, getting older creates feelings of loneliness or feeling as though we haven’t achieved what we wanted to at this age. Normalizing that others around us are also getting older, and surrounding yourself with a solid support network of friends and loved ones can help reduce your feelings of loneliness or inadequacy. It’s also important to note that age does not dictate where we need to be in life, and that success can mean different things and look different ways to different people.
Age Does Not Have To Stop Us
Sometimes, the fear associated with getting older is related to feeling worried that we won’t be able to do the things we used to be able to do. Getting older does not automatically equate to a decline in your health, or an inability to try new things. If any of these thoughts concern you, consider the following – Are there any habits you can pick up today that can help create a healthier lifestyle for you? Picking up a new habit that positively impacts your health can help increase your optimism about your future. This is also a gentle reminder that getting older does not make you incapable of trying new things, or prevent you from thriving in a new environment.
Choosing To “Age Well”
As we age, there are things that will be outside of our control. While we cannot control some of the things related to the aging process, we CAN control how we choose to spend our time, who we choose to spend it with, and the activities we choose to spend our time on. One of the benefits of getting older is having the wisdom and agency to choose activities, people, and spaces that make you feel safe and create joy. Making the choice to spend your time doing things you love with people you care about can help you have a positive outlook on aging.
While we hope that the tips above helped address some of your anxieties around aging, we acknowledge that it may not be sufficient. This is especially true if you feel that your concerns regarding aging are interfering with your daily life. If you find yourself needing support or additional coping strategies, we encourage you to book a phone consultation today at Life by Design. Life by Design offers therapeutic services with qualified professionals that can give you the tools you need to help address your current concerns.
Identifying Warning Signs of Teen Mental Health Issues
By Melody Wright, LMFT
In our first blog of the new monthly blog series, Supporting Our Youth and Their Mental Health, we discussed general information regarding our youth, the challenges they face today, and reviewed resources and tips to help support your teen’s current or future mental health needs. In today’s blog, we will take a more in-depth look at the potential signs that a teen displays when they are struggling with their Mental Health. We will also include some of the signs or red flags that would require an immediate response from a parent or caregiver.
Warning Signs
A warning sign can be defined as a sign that indicates a condition requiring special attention. With that in mind, we have listed some behaviors below that your teen may display if they are experiencing challenges with their Mental Health:
Sadness that is persistent and lasts for 2 weeks or more
Wanting to avoid social events or interactions
Ongoing somatic symptoms (headaches, stomach aches, etc.)
Behavior that drastically changes within a short time frame
Changes in daily patterns (sleeping, eating, school performance, etc.)
Poor attendance in school
Participating in self-harming or destructive behaviors
Warning signs help us recognize when our teens are using behaviors to communicate that something is wrong, even if they are not verbally expressing that they are not okay. If your teen is displaying any of the behaviors listed above, we strongly recommend that you schedule an urgent visit with their Primary Care or Mental Health Provider.
Red Flags (Immediate Action Required)
While some of the warning signs above prompt you to book an urgent appointment with a counselor or Pediatrician, the signs we will be discussing below require your immediate attention and action. These are potential warning signs that a teen may display when they are contemplating suicide:
Making statements or writing about suicide
Completely withdrawing from social settings or contact with others
Giving away belongings to friends or family
Increased use of substances such as alcohol or drugs
Showing repeated signs that they feel trapped or hopeless about a certain situation or their life in general
We recognize that it is not an easy task to have a conversation about Mental Health or suicide with your teen. It can be just as difficult for a teen to start the conversation with their parent or caregiver when they are having challenges with their mental health. When in doubt, don’t wait for your child to come to you. Having an open and honest conversation with them, and asking about suicide specifically, can create the opportunity to connect your teen with a professional at the right time. For teens or any individual in crisis and considering suicide, immediate support can be provided by calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255.
For ongoing support for your teen, a therapist can provide the consistent level of support they need for them to reach a better place in their mental health. To book a consultation and receive more information about our services, click here.
Strategies to Assist Teens in Nurturing Their Mental Health
By Melody Wright, LMFT
At Life By Design Therapy, we understand the importance of supporting the Mental Health needs for all ages and at all stages of life. Recent trends indicate a need for us to address the Mental Health needs of our youth. Mental health-related illnesses and concerns are becoming increasingly common amongst teens in the United States and globally. It is important for teens, and parents of teens, to have the right information and resources to recognize when a teen may be going through a tough time. It is also important to discuss when it might be time to seek professional help.
Youth Mental Health and Teen Suicide Rates
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), children being diagnosed with depression or anxiety has increased over time. For teens specifically, depression, substance use, and suicidality become more prevalent as they get older. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry states that suicide was the second leading cause of death for 15 to 24 year old’s in 2021. Some of the risk factors associated with suicidal thoughts and possible attempts include exposure to violence, bullying, access to firearms, and a family history of suicide attempts.
Challenges Our Teens Face Today
As a caregiver, it may be difficult to relate to the current challenges that our teens face today. That said, it is important to gain a better understanding of these challenges in order to adequately support them.
Some of the current challenges teens face are associated with the amount of access they have to technology and different social media platforms. These challenges can include the increased prevalence of materialism, peer pressure, exposure to body standards that impact their self-esteem, and incidents of cyberbullying. All of these challenges can impact the way that a teen perceives themselves compared to others, and create feelings of inadequacy should they feel like they “aren’t enough” or don’t “have enough.”
Additional challenges that teens face can be associated with their family dynamics, their community, the society at large, or the current political climate. Examples of this can include financial responsibilities at a young age, violence in schools, education inequality, a shifting economy, and feelings of uncertainty related to global events such as the Covid pandemic or political conflicts.
Ways to Support Your Teen
There are different ways to help support our teens depending on the challenge, or challenges, they are currently facing. As parents and caregivers, some of the ways we can support them include:
Monitor their social media use: Teens and their self-esteem can be greatly affected by what they are exposed to on social media. As their parent or caregiver, it’s important to help them discern between what posts are portraying real life, and what posts or images are capturing staged moments or unrealistic lifestyle standards. (Please note that there is a difference between monitoring and controlling social media use. As your teen grows and develops, it is important to establish a level of trust and independence in order to foster a positive relationship with them. A total control of their social media accounts may hinder their need for independence, and negatively impact your relationship with them.)
Create a time to connect: As a teen, it can be difficult to navigate all of the changes that come with adolescence (changes in hormones, increased peer pressure, navigating friendships, etc.). Making time to sit and talk with your teen can give them the space they need to share their current stressors. This also creates an opportunity for them to seek guidance from you, or simply talk about what is currently on their mind.
Encourage structure and healthy habits: Creating structure and healthy habits within the home can create a sense of stability for teens. Structure can include a daily routine, designated days for outdoor play or extracurricular activities, and creating a space and time to help them (and you) decompress after a long week. These activities and structure can help with both their physical and mental health.
Teen-Friendly Resources
There are many available resources that your teen can tap into should they express that they need additional support. Some of those resources include:
The Trevor Project, information and support for LGBTQ Youth: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Mindfulness for Teens: http://mindfulnessforteens.com/
Crisis Text Line : www.crisistextline.org/ or Text “START” to 741-741
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
We understand that the needs of our youth are complex and may go beyond some of the topics discussed above. It is our hope to continue providing our readers with additional information and resources regarding teen Mental Health in this new monthly blog series. With that said, if you or someone you love is struggling with their Mental Health, we encourage you to talk to a therapist today. For more information on how to connect with one of our therapists, click here and consider scheduling a consultation.
