Grounded and Centered: Transforming Stress to Serenity

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Imagine you’re on a ship out at sea. The once-calm waves are now becoming rogue and chaotic, which pulls you further away from the safety of the shore. When you look across the horizon, you can see the land diminishing in the distance, and a sense of overwhelm sets in. You find yourself at a loss, unsure of how to regain control of your situation. In the midst of the chaos, you remember you have an anchor. Without hesitation, you lower the anchor, securing your boat to the ocean floor. As you feel the anchor take hold, a sense of stability and peace sets in. You become aware that the waves no longer dictate the movement of your boat.

The waves of life continuously change which can cause many different emotions, thoughts, and reactions. As the captains of our “ship” called life, we hold a power resource, our anchor, the grounding tool. In other words, if you are grounded in life, you have the power to engage in peace on an inward level even when life is chaotic. In this blog, we will discuss the importance of grounding and techniques you can use in your day-to-day life. 

Why is Grounding Important?

Grounding is an important practice that allows us to find serenity in the midst of our stress. It supports us by allowing us to reconnect with the present moment and find a sense of stability. When we intentionally anchor ourselves to the here and now, we can create a deeper awareness of our surroundings and ourselves. When we become more aware of ourselves we become more attuned to our strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. This heightened sense of self-awareness allows us to make conscious choices that are aligned with our authentic selves, which can lead to living a more fulfilled life. This awareness also empowers us to navigate relationships without judgment, communicate more authentically, and build stronger connections with others. 

How Do You Ground? 

There are many ways to ground yourself throughout your day-to-day life. We suggest trying many different ways to see what is going to work best for you. You might also find that as you grow what worked for you before needs to be tweaked or another approach needs to be tried. Grounding is unique to you and your experiences. Here are a few grounding techniques you can try today. 

1. Deep Breathing: One of the simplest grounding techniques is deep breathing. By focusing on your breath, you can bring your attention back to the present. As you take slow, deep breaths be aware of the sensation of air entering and leaving your body. This practice not only grounds you but also activates relaxation by reducing the intensity of your body's stress response.
   

2. Grounding Objects: Having a tangible object to hold on to can help you ground. Consider carrying a small object such as a smooth stone, a worry stone, or a piece of fabric to run your fingers over. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or disconnected, hold the object in your hand and pay attention to its texture, weight, and temperature. Focusing on the object redirects your attention to the present and creates a sense of stability and connection.
   

3. Meditation: This grounding technique takes practice but is one of the best.  You can find a calm spot to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and focus on your breath or a chosen point. When thoughts come up you can acknowledge them without judgment and return your attention to the present. Mindfulness meditation helps to quiet the mind, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being. With regular practice, you can develop a greater ability to stay grounded and centered even when challenging situations occur. 

Final Thoughts

Grounding techniques offer practical ways to support our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. These tools also create space for you to find healing from anxiety, depression, and even trauma. If you would like to learn more about the mind-body connection check out our free downloadable eBook, The Mind-Body Tool Kit. We also have an amazing team of therapists who have extensive experience and training in healing the whole person. We are currently offering sessions in-person, during the weekend, online, and sessions in Spanish. You can CLICK HERE to schedule your free phone consultation today! 

Additional Resources

If you would like to learn about grounding and tools to help you ground, check out the resources below!

1. Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World by Mark Williams and Danny Penman

2. The Healing Power of Mindfulness: A New Way of Being" by Jon Kabat-Zinn

3. "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Jon Kabat-Zinn

4. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

5. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle

6. The Magic of Manifesting: 15 Advanced Techniques To Attract Your Best Life, Even If You Think It's Impossible Now by Ryuu Shinohara

7. Grace Unfolding: Psychotherapy in the Spirit of Tao-te ching by Greg Johanson and Ronald S. Kurtz

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The Art of Understanding: Helping Your Partner Cope with Depression

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Depression can be a debilitating condition that affects not only the person who is struggling with it but also their loved ones. It can be especially challenging for couples, as depression can put a strain on the relationship and make it difficult to maintain intimacy and communication. As a partner, it can be tough to see someone you care about struggling with depression, and it's understandable to feel helpless and unsure of what to do to help. However, it's essential to remember that your support can make a significant difference in your partner's journey toward recovery. If your partner is struggling with depression, there are several things you can do to support them and strengthen your relationship. In this blog, we'll discuss some practical tips and compassionate approaches that can help you support your partner through their depression.

How To Support Your Partner Through Their Depression

1. Be There For Them: This seems simple but one of the most important things you can do for your partner is simply to be there for them. Listen to their concerns and offer them emotional support when they need it. This will let them know that you care about them and have their best interest.

2. Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help: Because depression is a mental health condition, it is important for your partner to seek professional help. Encourage them to talk to a mental health professional about their symptoms.

3. Help With Daily Tasks: Depression can be debilitating for many people, which can make it difficult for your partner to do everyday tasks like making a meal, doing the laundry, or even running to the grocery store. Helping perform these basic tasks can show your partner that you are a safe support system for them.

Supporting Yourself

The care of your loved one is probably at the forefront of your mind, however, we want to remind you that, as the support person, you need to take care of yourself as well. If you continually give of yourself without taking care of your own needs, you run the risk of becoming burnout. Some ways you can support yourself are:

1. Practice Self-Care: It can be difficult to support a partner who is struggling with depression, and it is important to take care of yourself. Make time for yourself by doing activities you enjoy such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends.

2. Be Patient: Depression is a chronic condition for some people, and it may take time for your partner to feel better. Be patient and supportive, and avoid putting pressure on them to "snap out of it" or "get over it."

3. Educate Yourself: Knowing the signs and symptoms of depression can help you have a better understanding of what your partner may be going through. It can be supportive, as well, to know the treatment options for when your partner is ready to seek additional support. 

4. Seek Support For Yourself: Meeting with a qualified clinician can provide you with a secure and unbiased space for coping with your own emotions around your partner's depression. They can also give you tools to utilize in your day-to-day life to support your partner and possibly take a little weight off of your shoulders.

Supporting a partner who is struggling with depression can be a difficult and emotionally exhausting experience, but it is also an opportunity to show compassion and love to your partner which can bring strength to your relationship in the long run. By giving them your care and attention you can make a significant difference in their recovery journey. Remember to also take care of yourself and seek support when needed. Above all, know that you and your partner are not alone in this journey and that with patience, understanding, and persistence, you can work together to overcome the challenges of depression and build a stronger, more resilient relationship.

If you are in need of support, please contact one of our clinicians here at Life By Design Therapy. We offer online and in-person services for those who live in California. We also have a website full of resources for you and your partner to navigate this journey.

Surviving Burnout: Tips for Thriving in a Fast-Paced World

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you feel like you are empty, lacking motivation, and mentally exhausted? More than likely you are experiencing burnout. Unfortunately, life keeps pushing forward, and it becomes difficult to pour from an empty cup. This can become very overwhelming for many. You might desire a break to be filled again, but if you lack the opportunity for that break, what can you do to fill your cup again? In this blog, we will provide you with the tools to refresh even when you don’t have the opportunity to truly slow down. 

What is Burnout? 

Burnout is a feeling where your mental and emotional state is depleted and it becomes exhausting to even perform basic day-to-day tasks. The feeling of burnout can be caused by many things such as your job, home life, financial hardships, personal problems, or a combination of these. It can have a significant impact on your daily life, leading to feelings of frustration, irritability, and disengagement from work or personal relationships. It's incredibly common to feel overwhelmed and depleted especially when you’re constantly putting others before yourself.

What Can You Do To Support Yourself? 

If you're experiencing burnout, you must recognize the symptoms and take steps to prevent it from negatively impacting your daily life. Here are some practical strategies to help you cope with burnout:

1. Take Time For Yourself: It's essential to prioritize self-care and take time for yourself. This can include engaging in activities that you enjoy, such as reading, taking a bath, or going for a walk. Make sure to set aside time each day for self-care, even if it's just 10 minutes.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and sensations throughout your body. Practicing mindfulness can help you reduce stress, improve your mood, and increase your overall well-being. There are many mindfulness practices, including meditation, deep breathing, and yoga.

3. Set Boundaries: This is a BIG one! It’s okay to say “no”. It's important to set boundaries in your personal and professional life to prevent burnout. This can include saying no to extra work or social engagements you don't have the time or energy for or setting limits on how much time you spend on certain activities.

4. Get Enough Sleep: Getting enough sleep is important for optimal health in general, but prioritizing sleep can help your brain reset allowing clarity for the following day. You can do this by establishing a regular sleep routine, avoiding caffeine before bedtime, and creating a relaxing sleep environment.

5. Engage In Physical Activity: Regular physical activity can help reduce stress, and improve your mood. Even just a 10-minute walk can have significant benefits.

6. Seek Support: If you're feeling burnt out, it's important to seek support from friends, family, and even a therapist. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you feel less isolated and more supported.

We understand that burnout can have a significant impact on your daily life, but there are practical strategies that you can use to cope with it. By prioritizing yourself you can prevent burnout from negatively impacting your well-being. If you are needing support with moving forward out of your burnout state, consider reaching out to one of our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy. In conclusion, we want you to know that you are not alone and we are here to be a resource and support in your journey. We also have additional resources throughout our website such as links to mediation videos, a free downloadable eBook, and blogs that target more specific areas you might need support with. 

Beyond the Blues: Exploring the Impact of Depression on Your Life

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Depression, What Is It?

Depression is a serious (but common) medical illness that affects how someone feels, thinks, and acts. In general, depression causes feelings of sadness and an overall loss of interest in activities that you may have previously enjoyed. Depression impacts each person differently and may even look different at various stages of your life.  The length of time someone may experience depression can also vary from person to person; Some people may be able to overcome their depression within a matter of months while others may take longer. No matter what someone’s journey with depression may look like, it is important to be able to recognize the symptoms and the effects that it has on the body. Some of the symptoms related to depression vary from mild to severe, and can include the following:

• Changes in appetite

• Loss of energy

• Feeling fatigued

• Difficulty concentrating

• Feeling sad

• Trouble sleeping or too much sleep

• Thoughts of worthlessness, guilt, or suicidality

What Does Depression Do to the Brain?

While many associate only emotional or mental symptoms with depression, research states that it may also impact our brain. There is still much to be learned about the specific areas of the brain that are affected by depression, and how much they are affected. However, there is growing evidence that different parts of the brain may shrink, change in structure, and/or become inflamed in people with depression. These changes in the brain can lead to problems with memory, learning, and overall mood. Scientists are not yet sure if these changes have the potential to be permanent, but there is hope that treatment may help prevent or ease some of the changes that happen to the brain.

What Treatment Exists for Depression?

Treatment for depression can consist of different approaches, but primarily consists of two options, therapy and medication. Depending on what works best to address an individual’s symptoms, therapy and medication can be used individually or in combination as part of their treatment plan. The main therapeutic approaches for depression include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) 

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

• Holistic and Somatic (body-based) Psychotherapy

Medications for depression, also known as antidepressants, primarily work by increasing chemical levels in the brain called neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters are linked to mood and emotions. Antidepressants address different symptoms, and usually fall within the following categories:

• SSRI’s: Addresses symptoms of depression and anxiety

• Antidepressants: Addresses symptoms of depression and may help with other chronic conditions

• Anxiolytic: Addresses anxiety, tension, and may promote sleep

• Antipsychotic: Addresses symptoms of certain psychiatric conditions

When therapy and/or medication are used as treatment to address someone’s depression, research shows that it can reduce inflammation in the brain that was originally caused by depression.  Engaging in therapeutic interventions may also help form new synaptic connections in the brain that were affected by depression. This can help an individual experience a drastic improvement in their overall mood and energy levels. No matter what your treatment plan looks like, addressing your symptoms with therapy or medication can help begin to minimize the toll that depression can take on the body.

I’m Not Sure How to Get Started…Where Can I Get Help?

In order to properly address depression, it is important that you speak to your doctor, therapist, and/or psychiatrist to find the treatment approach, or approaches, that work best for you. For individuals who would like to explore taking medication, it’s important to learn the side-effects that may be associated with each medication, and understand that it may take time to find the right medication for their individual needs. If you or a loved one is currently experiencing sympthttps://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/depression-therapyoms of depression, our therapists at Life by Design would be happy to connect with you and help guide the journey to healing and improved Mental Health. Click here for more information. 

Beyond the Surface: Identifying Common Triggers for Depression and Their Impact

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Did you know that approximately 10% of Americans live with depression, and encountering situations that trigger their depression can be very common. If you feel as though you are in the 10%, you are not alone. Depression can often be triggered by a stressful or negative life event. Learning about common triggers can help individuals who experience depression avoid, or mitigate for, a depressive episode. Below you will find a list of 5 common depression triggers and skills to help address them:

1. Overwhelming/Stressful Tasks: Coming home to a messy apartment or being scheduled to work overtime for the 3rd day in a row can create high levels of stress and leave you feeling overwhelmed. Creating boundaries around what you can and cannot do can help address these types of stressful situations before they become a depressive episode. Saying “no” to additional overtime opportunities, or deciding to clean your apartment one room at a time are both examples of boundaries you can set with others and with yourself to begin tackling these stressful scenarios. 

1. Lack of Sleep: Research shows that a lack of sleep can directly affect an individual’s depression. Having a consistent sleep schedule, including a set bedtime and wake time can help improve your chances at getting enough sleep. Implementing a consistent routine before bedtime can also help teach your body when it is time to go to bed. This can include a warm bath at the same time every evening, or turning on a lavender-scented diffuser before getting into bed. 

2. Financial Hardship: Financial hardships, especially when unexpected, can create high levels of stress for any individual. A few skills to address finances include creating a monthly budget and reviewing it routinely, looking into community resources that provide payment assistance with certain household bills or necessities, and engaging in low-cost or free activities so that finances do not limit you from making plans with friends or loved ones. 

3. Significant Life Events: Life changes that are unexpected and out of your control can leave you feeling lost or unsure of how to process these changes. In times like these, it is important to connect with friends or loved ones not only to receive love and support, but also to have a listening ear from individuals that you trust. A divorce, a loss of a loved one, or a change in careers require major life decisions. Surrounding yourself with individuals you trust can provide you with the best opportunity to make rational decisions in the midst of stressful times. 

4. Drug/Alcohol Use: The use of alcohol or drugs can trigger or make depressive episodes worse. If you have a medical provider that you trust, we encourage you to schedule an appointment. Talking to a therapist or mental health professional can also be a great option to address alcohol or drug use. 

Not all of the triggers listed above may apply to you, so we encourage you to learn more about your common triggers and possible skills to help address them. If you find yourself needing support with figuring out what your triggers are, or would like to learn more strategies to cope with them, we encourage you to book a phone consultation today at Life by Design. Life by Design offers therapeutic services with qualified professionals that can give you the tools you need to help address your triggers and depression. Book a phone consultation today for more information and let’s get you connected to additional support. 

Depression in the Digital Age: Understanding How Social Media Impacts Mental Health

by Melody Wright, LMFT

Have you ever found yourself feeling particularly sad, frustrated, upset, or just overall drained after browsing through Instagram or Facebook? There’s a reason for that. Recent studies have shown a correlation between social media use and depression. While Social Media apps themselves may not be causing depression, the amount of media that we consume may leave us feeling more insecure, exhausted, and socially isolated due to a lack of direct social interaction with others. All of these factors can directly contribute to feelings of sadness and depression. 

Spending an increased amount of time on Social Media apps can affect us in more ways than one. Depending on the accounts that you usually follow, seeing an influx of seemingly “perfect” individuals can affect how we perceive ourselves and our overall self-esteem. Constantly checking social media apps may also be creating disruptions in our day, which in turn creates an inability to focus on our tasks. This may lead to less free time to focus on things that bring us joy, such as connecting with others or spending quality time with loved ones. Increased screen time close to our bedtime may also create disruptions to our sleep, including less overall sleep time. Lack of sleep can at times be a contributing factor to depression.  

Now that you know how social media may be impacting your overall health and ability to connect with others, what can you do about it? If you want to work on decreasing your social media use, or being more intentional about the accounts you follow, try some of the following tips:

1. Set aside a specific time of the day to check your apps. This will help you limit your overall social media consumption and still give you time to check-in on your apps. If you can choose a specific day of the week where you don’t check social media at all, even better!

2. Spend time on a screen-free hobby. Whether it’s 30 minutes or an hour, set aside time every week to “unplug” and practice a hobby. 

3. Put your phone outside of your bedroom at night. Leaving your phone outside of your bedroom will minimize screen time use right before bed, helping you fall asleep faster and minimizing disruptions to your overall sleep.

4. Follow accounts or friends that add value. One of the positive things about social media is that you can choose who to follow and what content to see. If you find yourself feeling upset or overwhelmed by following certain accounts, try muting or unfollowing them altogether. 

5. As best as possible, try not to share everything going on in your life. Limiting what you post may help you be more present during important moments in your life where you would usually spend time trying to capture the “perfect photo” to post,  

Changing your social media habits and overall screen time can be really difficult, especially when you’ve made it part of your daily routine. If you’ve tried some of the strategies listed above and still find yourself taking in more screen time than you would like, you may benefit from some additional support. The therapists at Life By Design can help you create strategies to reduce your social media intake, and support any feelings of frustration or sadness that you may currently be experiencing. Schedule a phone consultation today for more information. 

Embracing the Seasons: Preparing Your Mind and Body for Seasonal Affective Disorder

by Melody Wright, LMFT

In many places, the winter months bring gloomier weather and less daylight hours compared to the weather and sunlight we get during the spring and summer months. These seasonal changes can lead to a type of depression called “Seasonal Affective Disorder.” Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, usually presents itself during the Fall and continues into the Winter months. SAD symptoms include having low energy, experiencing problems with sleep, having changes in your appetite, and feeling depressed for most of the day almost every day. If you’ve experienced Seasonal Affective Disorder in the past, or are currently experiencing SAD-related symptoms, here are some tips to help you prepare for this winter:

• Plan some mood boosting activities.

  Whether you want to start a new yoga class or are long overdue for a group outing with friends, planning some activities for the Winter season can help you get ahead of the SAD symptoms. Focus on activities that you are comfortable with and usually put you in a good mood -- this will help avoid stressors that come with planning something you have not done before or aren’t sure about doing. 

• Try aromatherapy.

  Aromatherapy uses aromatic materials, like essential oils, to help improve your physical and emotional health. Scents like vanilla, jasmine, or sandalwood can help improve your mood and are available as an essential oil or candle. If you notice that certain scents help improve your mood, consider purchasing a diffuser or scented candle and setting it up in a space that you currently use to relax or unwind like a reading corner. 

• Consider using a light box.

  Some people benefit from using a light therapy box that mimics outdoor light. The light has an effect on the brain chemicals that are linked to mood and sleep, which can have a positive impact on SAD symptoms. 

• Catch all the sunshine that you can.

  While the winter months can limit the amount of sunshine that we usually get, making the most out of the hours when there is sunlight can help improve your mood and overall SAD symptoms. If you’re currently working from home, consider setting up your workspace near a window or right outside your balcony to catch some rays. Taking early morning walks can also help you get some sunlight as well as endorphins from the exercise. The increased sunlight and the endorphins should help improve your mood. 

• Take some time off.

  If you’re able to take some time off of work during the winter due to the holidays, this could be a great opportunity to focus on your self-care. If it’s possible and within your budget, it may also be a great time to travel to a place that gets more sunshine or take this opportunity to visit family or friends. Whether you’re able to take time off to focus on your self-care or travel to visit loved ones, both activities are great opportunities to help you recharge. 

• Talk to a doctor or therapist.

  Depending on the severity or consistency of your symptoms, it may be time to see your doctor or schedule an appointment with a therapist. A doctor or therapist is able to tailor solutions that are based on your individual health and lifestyle if you are experiencing severe Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms. 

If you’ve experienced Seasonal Affective Disorder in the past, or have recently begun experiencing SAD-related symptoms, there are things you can do to help prepare for the upcoming winter season. Implementing mood boosting activities or routines can help enjoy your winter days to the fullest. 

Therapy can be a great part of your routine care and we encourage that you prioritize speaking with a professional if you notice that you have felt unmotivated or hopeless for a long period of time. Life by Design Therapy offers therapy and excellent workshops facilitated by qualified professionals to help you get through challenging times. Book a phone consultation today for more information and to help get you connected to additional support.

Reclaiming Balance: Tools and Techniques to Conquer Overwhelming Moments

by Melody Wright, LMFT

2021 has presented us with many challenges at an individual, national, and global level. These challenges have created higher levels of stress in us and those around us. Many people have reported feeling high levels of stress due to being affected by COVID, being impacted by the racial and political tension within our country, and being exposed to higher rates of crime. These stressors may have also led to feelings of fear, frustration, anger, and overall feeling inundated by what is going on in the world around us. No matter what challenges or stressors you’ve faced this last year, we want to reassure you that it is okay not to be okay. 

As you look back at the events that took place over this last year, it is important to notice how these events have impacted your physical, emotional, and mental health. When we give ourselves permission to acknowledge that we are not okay or that something does not feel right, we can start the journey of healing by identifying the parts in us that need some extra care and attention. You may also find comfort in knowing that there are many others at this moment that are feeling the same way you are. It may also help you to know that there are strategies to help you cope when you are feeling overstressed or overwhelmed. 

At this point in time, you may be feeling like things are not going the way you hoped they would or that they are not getting better as fast as you’d hoped. That’s okay.

While it may not feel like things are going well for you right now, there are strategies you can implement today to help you feel a little less overwhelmed and more hopeful about current events: 

• Eat, sleep, repeat. This sounds easy in theory, but many people sacrifice sleep and regular meals when they feel stressed or overwhelmed. Ironically, not eating or sleeping well will contribute to higher stress levels or irritability. Getting enough sleep and eating well will help you with your focus and overall mood. 

• Pick-up or restart your old hobbies. It is important to make time for activities that create moments of fun and relaxation. If it’s been a while since your last nature hike, or have been meaning to read a new book, adding just a few minutes to your day for a hobby can help give you some much needed me-time for things that make you happy. 

• Create a to-do list. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with tasks and work well with visual reminders, putting together a to-do list may help you organize your thoughts. You may find yourself feeling a bit more at ease once you can visualize all the things that need to be done. The physical act of getting the thoughts out of your mind and onto paper may also provide a sense of relief. Bonus points to you if you list items in order of priority so you can clearly identify what needs to get done first. 

• Tidy up. The last thing you want to do sometimes is add another item to your to-do list. With that said, cleaning can help give you a break from your overwhelming thoughts AND help you declutter your physical space. The decluttering of your physical space can help you feel mentally decluttered as well. 

Whether you’re going through a difficult time in your life or are feeling emotionally exhausted due to this year’s events, know that you are among many who are experiencing and feeling the same things you are. You may not be okay right now, but you will be. Being able to feel okay again sometimes means tapping into your support system. Your support system can help give you an outside perspective or coping strategies based on your current life circumstances. Remember that a therapist can be part of that much-needed support system.

For more information, reach out to us on getting connected to a member of our team.