A Parent's Guide: Helping Your Child Overcome Back-to-School Anxiety

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Do you remember how it felt when you started a new school year? The excitement and nervousness, or maybe even anxiety as you wondered about the new uncharted territory, hoping to make new friends, impress your teachers, and navigate the challenges of being a year older. As this school year started, maybe you’ve had some of those memories resurface as you witness your own child experiencing those same emotions. 

Back-to-school anxiety is perfectly normal, and as a parent, you have the power to be your child’s anchor, guiding them through the feelings of uncertainty with love, understanding, and support. In this blog, we will discuss strategies to support your child through their emotions and foster a positive mindset for the rest of the school year.

Identifying Signs of Back-to-School Anxiety

Back-to-school anxiety is common among students. However, recognizing the signs of anxiety in children is crucial for providing timely support and understanding. Common signs of this type of anxiety can show itself in physical symptoms such as headaches, and stomachaches, or they might say they don’t feel well, especially when school-related discussions come up.  

You might also notice behavioral changes such as increased clinginess, crying, or restlessness. Mood swings, irritability, and changes in sleep patterns can also be a sign that your child is experiencing some anxiety. However, some children may exhibit avoidance behaviors, such as resisting going to school or expressing a strong desire to stay home. Academic performance may also be affected. Your child might have their grades decline or they might become obsessively worried about their school work. 

Therapist Tip: Being attentive to these signals you can provide the necessary support and reassurance to help children cope with their emotions and navigate the back-to-school transition. 

Strategies for Supporting Your Child

1. Establish a Consistent Routine - For those with anxiety, knowing what comes next can provide a sense of stability and predictability. Create space for consistent meal times, study times, and family times. Your child might also need support with creating a routine around hygiene and self-care as well.
   

2. Encourage Expressive Arts & Journaling - Some kids have a difficult time finding the words to use to express how they are feeling. Expressive arts is a great way to release the emotions being felt through music or creating art. Journaling is a supportive tool for those who do not feel like speaking to someone about what they are feeling. Journaling provides a safe space to be fully vulnerable.
   

3. Foster a Growth Mindset - Encourage a growth mindset in your child by emphasizing the importance of learning, growth, and perseverance. Remind them that mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow and that it's okay not to have all the answers right away. This mindset shift can reduce the fear of failure and increase your child's resilience in the face of challenges.
   

4. Introduce Grounding Techniques -Teaching your child grounding techniques can support their emotional regulation for the rest of their life. Practice deep breathing, and meditation, and consider a grounding object that they can carry with them in their pocket to school.
   

5. Collaborate with a Therapist - Open communication is essential for supporting your child through their struggle, however, that doesn’t always come easy. Meeting regularly with a therapist will allow your child to engage in consistent opportunities to be vulnerable in an unbiased, non-judgmental space. 

Final Thoughts 

Supporting your child through their back-to-school anxiety requires patience, understanding, and empathy. By creating a nurturing environment at home and implementing some of the techniques above you can support your child in navigating these unknown territories. Remember that every child’s journey is unique to them, so approach this process with love, support, and flexibility. 

Also, we want to acknowledge that this is challenging and complex for parents as well. Give yourself an empathetic and non-judgmental space as you journey through this side of parenting. If you are needing support as a parent or if your child is needing support, connect with our team. We have qualified therapists who are equipped with the tools you need to move forward on this journey. CLICK HERE to schedule your free phone consultation today. 

Additional Resources 

If you would like additional tools for supporting your child and yourself as a parent, check out the resources below.

1. The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

2. Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges by Mona Delahooke 

3. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish 

4. Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons

5. The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell

6. Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Foster Cline and Jim Fay

7. Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids by Hunter Clarke-Fields MSAE

8. Raising Critical Thinkers: A Parent's Guide to Growing Wise Kids in the Digital Age by Julie Bogart

**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.

Grounded and Centered: Transforming Stress to Serenity

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Imagine you’re on a ship out at sea. The once-calm waves are now becoming rogue and chaotic, which pulls you further away from the safety of the shore. When you look across the horizon, you can see the land diminishing in the distance, and a sense of overwhelm sets in. You find yourself at a loss, unsure of how to regain control of your situation. In the midst of the chaos, you remember you have an anchor. Without hesitation, you lower the anchor, securing your boat to the ocean floor. As you feel the anchor take hold, a sense of stability and peace sets in. You become aware that the waves no longer dictate the movement of your boat.

The waves of life continuously change which can cause many different emotions, thoughts, and reactions. As the captains of our “ship” called life, we hold a power resource, our anchor, the grounding tool. In other words, if you are grounded in life, you have the power to engage in peace on an inward level even when life is chaotic. In this blog, we will discuss the importance of grounding and techniques you can use in your day-to-day life. 

Why is Grounding Important?

Grounding is an important practice that allows us to find serenity in the midst of our stress. It supports us by allowing us to reconnect with the present moment and find a sense of stability. When we intentionally anchor ourselves to the here and now, we can create a deeper awareness of our surroundings and ourselves. When we become more aware of ourselves we become more attuned to our strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. This heightened sense of self-awareness allows us to make conscious choices that are aligned with our authentic selves, which can lead to living a more fulfilled life. This awareness also empowers us to navigate relationships without judgment, communicate more authentically, and build stronger connections with others. 

How Do You Ground? 

There are many ways to ground yourself throughout your day-to-day life. We suggest trying many different ways to see what is going to work best for you. You might also find that as you grow what worked for you before needs to be tweaked or another approach needs to be tried. Grounding is unique to you and your experiences. Here are a few grounding techniques you can try today. 

1. Deep Breathing: One of the simplest grounding techniques is deep breathing. By focusing on your breath, you can bring your attention back to the present. As you take slow, deep breaths be aware of the sensation of air entering and leaving your body. This practice not only grounds you but also activates relaxation by reducing the intensity of your body's stress response.
   

2. Grounding Objects: Having a tangible object to hold on to can help you ground. Consider carrying a small object such as a smooth stone, a worry stone, or a piece of fabric to run your fingers over. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or disconnected, hold the object in your hand and pay attention to its texture, weight, and temperature. Focusing on the object redirects your attention to the present and creates a sense of stability and connection.
   

3. Meditation: This grounding technique takes practice but is one of the best.  You can find a calm spot to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and focus on your breath or a chosen point. When thoughts come up you can acknowledge them without judgment and return your attention to the present. Mindfulness meditation helps to quiet the mind, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being. With regular practice, you can develop a greater ability to stay grounded and centered even when challenging situations occur. 

Final Thoughts

Grounding techniques offer practical ways to support our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. These tools also create space for you to find healing from anxiety, depression, and even trauma. If you would like to learn more about the mind-body connection check out our free downloadable eBook, The Mind-Body Tool Kit. We also have an amazing team of therapists who have extensive experience and training in healing the whole person. We are currently offering sessions in-person, during the weekend, online, and sessions in Spanish. You can CLICK HERE to schedule your free phone consultation today! 

Additional Resources

If you would like to learn about grounding and tools to help you ground, check out the resources below!

1. Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World by Mark Williams and Danny Penman

2. The Healing Power of Mindfulness: A New Way of Being" by Jon Kabat-Zinn

3. "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Jon Kabat-Zinn

4. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

5. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle

6. The Magic of Manifesting: 15 Advanced Techniques To Attract Your Best Life, Even If You Think It's Impossible Now by Ryuu Shinohara

7. Grace Unfolding: Psychotherapy in the Spirit of Tao-te ching by Greg Johanson and Ronald S. Kurtz

**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.

From Panic to Peace: Effective Ways to Alleviate Anxiety When You're Feeling Overwhelmed

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, many of us may be feeling overwhelmed with any remaining upcoming events as we head into the new year. Our overwhelming feelings, if left unattended, can turn into anxious thoughts and concerns that we will not have enough time to do all the tasks we said we would do (making a dish for the New Year Party at work, cleaning the house, making final plans for your business, etc.). If any of these worries resonate with you, we’d like to offer you some tips to help reduce your anxiety when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

1. Write it down. When we’re overwhelmed, our thoughts can feel like they are going in circles in our head, which creates more feelings of stress and anxiety. If you are worried about something, or numerous things, write it down. Make a list of the things that are currently bothering you and prioritize what things you’d like to address first. You may also find things on your list that you can’t do much about. When this happens, give your mind permission to let those things go. Creating a list and prioritizing what you will do will help you feel a sense of control, which can help reduce the feeling of overwhelm.

2. Schedule a time to worry. If your thoughts come and go throughout the day and distract you from your current tasks, schedule a time to worry. You may notice that by the time you get to your scheduled “worry time” your worries may have improved. 

3. Be mindful of your caffeine and alcohol intake. Both caffeine and alcohol can give you the energy or mood boost you need to get through an upcoming event, but they can also impact your anxiety levels. If you’re able to cut down on the amount of caffeine or alcohol that you consume, it may improve how you feel and decrease your anxiety levels. 

4. Practice grounding exercises. Whether you prefer deep breathing or guided imagery, implementing a grounding exercise in the middle of feeling overwhelmed can help bring you back to a focused, calm state. This is especially true if you are about to head into a busy shopping mall or chaotic family gathering – grounding yourself before these events can help you walk in with a calm demeanor and zen state of mind. 

5. Identify your triggers.You may notice that you consistently feel anxious or overwhelmed when you see certain people or places (ie. a family member or the doctor’s office). See if you’re able to identify who or what situations make you anxious. Consider if there is anything you can do about these triggers (limit time with a family member, have someone with you when you go to the doctor’s office, etc.)

6. Spend time with and in your community. Spending time with your friends can help you feel supported and improve your mood. Volunteering in your community can also help give you a sense of belonging.

7. Talk to someone you trust. Whether you choose to talk to a friend or your significant other, talking to someone you trust about your feelings may help ease your mental load. Talking to others can help give you a different perspective on what’s currently troubling you. They may even offer to help with some of the things on your to-do list.

8. Take a walk. Getting outside and moving your body helps release endorphins, which trigger positive feelings in your body. 

9. Make time for rest. The average person needs about 7 hours of sleep a night to properly rest. Take a moment to see if you’re getting enough rest. If not, your lack of sleep may be contributing to your current feelings.

10. Redirect your focus. If practicing grounding exercises is not for you, doing other activities when feeling anxious may help you interrupt your anxious thoughts. Completing a household chore, watering your plants, or getting out to mail out a letter can help redirect your focus and get an item checked off your to-do list. 

We hope these tips can help calm your mind and provide an opportunity to regulate any physical symptoms you may be experiencing as a result of anxiety. 

If you’d like to learn more about anxiety, feel free to check out our previous blog posts where we discuss anxiety, anxious responses, and offer other strategies to address anxious thoughts. For additional support, click here to connect to one of our experienced therapists. 

Finding Peace in the Aging Process: Strategies for Coping with Anxiety About Growing Older

By Melody Wright, LMFT

As we begin to enter new ages and phases in our life, it can sometimes be difficult to accept that we are getting older. Whether it’s a fear of physically looking older, a concern about not being where you want to be in life, or feeling anxious about what the future holds, the concepts related to getting older sometimes have a negative connotation. If you’re feeling anxious or concerned about aging, below are some things to consider that may help you cope with your concerns and anxiety. 

We’re All Getting Older

You are not the first person to age, and you will not be the last. Sometimes, getting older creates feelings of loneliness or feeling as though we haven’t achieved what we wanted to at this age. Normalizing that others around us are also getting older, and surrounding yourself with a solid support network of friends and loved ones can help reduce your feelings of loneliness or inadequacy. It’s also important to note that age does not dictate where we need to be in life, and that success can mean different things and look different ways to different people. 

Age Does Not Have To Stop Us

Sometimes, the fear associated with getting older is related to feeling worried that we won’t be able to do the things we used to be able to do. Getting older does not automatically equate to a decline in your health, or an inability to try new things. If any of these thoughts concern you, consider the following – Are there any habits you can pick up today that can help create a healthier lifestyle for you? Picking up a new habit that positively impacts your health can help increase your optimism about your future. This is also a gentle reminder that getting older does not make you incapable of trying new things, or prevent you from thriving in a new environment.

Choosing To “Age Well”

As we age, there are things that will be outside of our control. While we cannot control some of the things related to the aging process, we CAN control how we choose to spend our time, who we choose to spend it with, and the activities we choose to spend our time on. One of the benefits of getting older is having the wisdom and agency to choose activities, people, and spaces that make you feel safe and create joy. Making the choice to spend your time doing things you love with people you care about can help you have a positive outlook on aging. 

While we hope that the tips above helped address some of your anxieties around aging, we acknowledge that it may not be sufficient. This is especially true if you feel that your concerns regarding aging are interfering with your daily life. If you find yourself needing support or additional coping strategies, we encourage you to book a phone consultation today at Life by Design. Life by Design offers therapeutic services with qualified professionals that can give you the tools you need to help address your current concerns.  

When the Past Resurfaces: Managing Triggers from the Past in the Present Moment

By Melody Wright, LMFT

As most of us do our morning scroll through our news and social media apps, we can see there is a substantial amount of events that we are constantly being exposed to. Whether these events are on an international level, such as war or tension between nations, a national level, such as politically charged or party-driven bills that are controversial in nature, or at a local level, such as riots as a result of police brutality, all of these events can trigger negative feelings or reactions. This is especially true if your past involves a traumatic event that is similar in nature to that of current events. 

Of course, while the media may be responsible for sharing and keeping us updated on current events, it’s us that has the responsibility to process the information that is delivered to us. Sometimes, this means that we need to process any negative feelings that may have been brought up in the course of receiving updates on current events. For an individual who has been targeted by law enforcement as a result of their race, watching a news segment on police brutality can be an extremely stressful experience that can trigger their past trauma. If you’re finding yourself struggling with current events triggering past trauma, below are some coping skills you can practice:

• Practice Mindfulness: Using mindfulness practices when you are feeling a rise in your stress or anxiety levels can be a great way to interrupt your negative thoughts and bring you back to the present. Breathing techniques or guided imagery are great options that can be easily used no matter where you are. 

• Set News or Social Media Boundaries: If you’re finding yourself feeling overwhelmed after scrolling through news and social media apps every morning, you may want to set boundaries around how you are using your time. Reducing your social media usage, changing the time of day in which you scroll through apps, or removing certain apps can help you limit the impact that these apps have on your overall mood. 

• Attend a Workshop or Support Group: There is great value in finding a community of people who share similar concerns, backgrounds, or experiences to you and are dedicated to providing support. Participating in a workshop or Support Group that focuses on the reason for your past trauma or current experiences can help you learn of what others with similar backgrounds are doing to process their trauma. 

• Consider Professional Help: If you’ve implemented any of the strategies above, or other strategies you’ve learned in the past, and are still having a hard time coping with current events, it may be time to consider professional help. 

Feeling constantly triggered by current events can leave us in a state of high stress and emotional fatigue. While we always encourage that you integrate self-care practices to help provide a sense of peace and balance, we acknowledge that it may not be enough. If you’ve considered talking to a therapist to help you process your current emotional state, now may be a good time to connect with someone at Life By Design. Click here for more information on scheduling a consultation.

Empowering the Mind: Incorporating Affirmations to Combat Anxious Thinking

by Melody Wright, LMFT

Anxious thoughts or worries can be caused by stress and anxiety. You may have noticed that current world events, as well as the ongoing pandemic, may have impacted or increased the amount of anxious thoughts you’re experiencing. If you’re finding that your anxious thoughts are becoming overwhelming, using coping mechanisms such as affirmations can help you ease your anxious thoughts. 

Affirmations can be described as positive statements that can help you challenge and address anxious, or worrying, thoughts. Affirmations are usually short statements that are meant to help you feel in control of your thoughts and emotions. When practiced enough, they can help us make positive changes and stop our anxious thoughts from escalating or becoming overwhelming. If you’re ready to create some affirmations for yourself, you can reference the tips below while you put them together:

• Make your affirmations short, sweet, and to the point. This will help make your affirmations easy to remember and easy to use whenever you need them. 

• Make affirmations relevant to you and your desired actions. The things that make you anxious can be very different than what makes someone else worry. Tailoring your affirmations to address the things that make you anxious, or help you refocus, will help them be more effective for you. 

• Make affirmations meaningful. Affirmations are meant to create a positive mindframe for you, and help you move away from anxious thoughts. The more meaningful the affirmation, the better mindset you can achieve from reciting it. 

If you’re having trouble coming up with some affirmations, here’s some sample ones to get you started:

• “This is only a thought, and I can change this thought”

• “I have been through this before, and trust I can get through this again”

• “I will take a step back and breathe, and return to this feeling relaxed and calmer”

• “I am enough and I am doing enough.”

• “I am open to new opportunities”

• “I am happy and grateful for my current health”

Notice that these affirmations can vary in purpose and address different types of thoughts. Affirmations can address negative thoughts directly (“This is only a thought, and I can change this thought”), or they can focus on specific feelings that may usually trigger worries or negative thoughts (“I am enough and I am doing enough.”) If you notice that specific feelings trigger your anxious thoughts, such as not feeling worthy or being concerned about not doing enough, you can create affirmations that help remind you that you are worthy and that you are doing your best, which is more than enough. As you create these affirmations, we encourage you to be gentle with yourself and remember to give yourself grace, and integrate that grace and care within your affirmations. 

While we understand that not all of these affirmations may be applicable to you, we encourage you to find and create affirmations that feel right for you and your current situation. If you find yourself needing some support with creating affirmations, or you’re interested in learning more strategies to combat your anxious thoughts, we encourage you to book a phone consultation today at Life by Design.

Life by Design offers therapeutic services with qualified professionals that can give you the tools you need to help address your worries and anxious thoughts. Book a phone consultation today for more information and get you connected to additional support.