The Seasonal Hidden Battle: Transforming Seasonal Blues into Winter Bliss

By Melody Wright, LMFT

As the seasons change, some of us might find our spirits taking a dip along with the temperature. For many, this shift ushers in the excitement of holidays, warm drinks, and snug evenings by the fire. But for some, this seasonal transformation brings with it a subtle yet profound change in mood – the onset of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Otherwise known as Seasonal Depression. 

Have you ever wondered why the season's magic doesn't quite reach everyone? Through the advocacy for mental health awareness, the term seasonal depression is becoming more prevalent. But what is seasonal depression? Why does it happen? Who does it affect? 

In this blog, we will dive into what seasonal depression is, who it affects, and ways to support yourself if you find yourself struggling.

Understanding Seasonal Depression 

Seasonal depression typically follows a pattern, with symptoms emerging and receding at the same time each year. The most common form of seasonal depression occurs during the fall and winter months when sunlight is in shorter supply. The primary culprit behind seasonal depression is believed to be reduced exposure to natural sunlight. Did you know sunlight plays a crucial role in regulating our circadian rhythm or internal body clock, as well as influencing the production of serotonin, which is a “feel good” hormone released by the brain? The winter months, with their shorter days and diminished sunlight, can disrupt this delicate balance, leading to a cascade of physiological and psychological effects.

So are there people who are more susceptible to Seasonal Depression? The answer is yes. Let's talk about it…

1. Location: If you live farther from the equator, where daylight duration varies more significantly between seasons, the more at risk you are to encounter season depression. 

2. Age and Gender: Seasonal depression can affect people of all ages, but it is more common in younger adults. Women, also, are diagnosed with seasonal depression more frequently than men.

3. Family History: If one of your family members has been diagnosed with depression or other mood disorders it may increase your susceptibility to seasonal depression.

4. Pre-existing Mental Health Conditions: If you have a history of other mental health conditions you may find your symptoms exacerbated during specific seasons like fall and winter.

10 Tips for Seasonal Depression Self-Support

When you are struggling with any type of depression, it can feel like an uphill battle. Implementing self-care practices are essential to coping, however, finding what works for you can be a challenge in itself. We want to help you alleviate the decision fatigue with these 10 tips. 

Light Therapy: Light therapy, also known as phototherapy, involves exposure to a bright light that mimics natural sunlight. It can help regulate circadian rhythms and boost mood. Spending 20-30 minutes in front of a light box each morning can be an effective way to combat seasonal depression. You can find light boxes sold on Amazon.

Regular Exercise: Engaging in regular physical activity has been shown to alleviate symptoms of depression. Exercise releases endorphins, the body's natural mood lifters, and helps improve overall well-being. Even a walk outdoors can make a significant difference.

Maximize Natural Light Exposure: Make a conscious effort to spend time outdoors during daylight hours. Open curtains and blinds to let natural light into your home or workspace. If you work at home try position yourself or work area near windows to maximize exposure to natural light.

Social Connection: Stay connected with friends and family. Seasonal depression can lead to social withdrawal, so make an effort to maintain social connections. Whether it's a phone call, video chat, or coffee with a friend, social support is vital for emotional well-being.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices such as mindfulness meditation, and deep breathing exercises can help reduce stress and improve mood. These techniques can be incorporated into daily routines to promote relaxation.

If you’re interested in learning more about this, you can download our free ebook, The Mind-Body ToolKit.

Establish a Consistent Sleep Routine: Maintain a regular sleep schedule by going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. Quality sleep is essential for mental health, and a consistent sleep routine can positively impact mood.

Implement a Daily Routine: Establishing a routine can provide structure and predictability which can counteract the internal chaos we might feel when in a depressive state. This tip is particularly crucial for those grappling with seasonal depression, as the changing seasons can disrupt the body's internal clock.

Set Realistic Goals: Break down tasks into smaller, more manageable goals. Setting realistic and achievable objectives can provide a sense of accomplishment and boost self-esteem, counteracting feelings of helplessness.

Express Yourself Creatively: Engage in activities that allow for self-expression and creativity, whether it's writing, drawing, painting, or playing a musical instrument. Creative outlets can serve as a therapeutic way to process emotions.

Professional Support: If seasonal depression is significantly impacting your daily life, consider seeking professional help. Having a therapist can provide guidance, support, and therapeutic interventions tailored to your specific needs. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based treatments can be effective in managing seasonal depression.

Final Thoughts

Seasonal depression is a complex interplay of biological, environmental, and psychological factors that can significantly impact your quality of life. Recognizing the signs and understanding who is at risk is the first step toward to managing your depression in a healthy way. By incorporating coping strategies, those affected by seasonal depression can navigate the changing seasons with resilience and improved mental well-being. If you are struggling with seasonal depression, seeking professional guidance can be a step forward to healing. Our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy can be a trusted guide, offering support tailored to your unique journey. Their empathetic understanding provides a safe space to unravel the complexities of seasonal blues, granting you the tools and insights needed to navigate the storm. If you would like to take that step CLICK HERE to schedule your free phone consultation. 

Additional Resources

**If you’re interested in expanding your knowledge on depression and how to support those that are depressed, check out these books below:

1. The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time by Alex Korb

2. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig

3. The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs by Stephen S. Ilardi

4. Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions by Johann Hari

5. The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns

6. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

7. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

8. It's Okay That You're Not Okay: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine

**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.

The Art of Understanding: Helping Your Partner Cope with Depression

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Depression can be a debilitating condition that affects not only the person who is struggling with it but also their loved ones. It can be especially challenging for couples, as depression can put a strain on the relationship and make it difficult to maintain intimacy and communication. As a partner, it can be tough to see someone you care about struggling with depression, and it's understandable to feel helpless and unsure of what to do to help. However, it's essential to remember that your support can make a significant difference in your partner's journey toward recovery. If your partner is struggling with depression, there are several things you can do to support them and strengthen your relationship. In this blog, we'll discuss some practical tips and compassionate approaches that can help you support your partner through their depression.

How To Support Your Partner Through Their Depression

1. Be There For Them: This seems simple but one of the most important things you can do for your partner is simply to be there for them. Listen to their concerns and offer them emotional support when they need it. This will let them know that you care about them and have their best interest.

2. Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help: Because depression is a mental health condition, it is important for your partner to seek professional help. Encourage them to talk to a mental health professional about their symptoms.

3. Help With Daily Tasks: Depression can be debilitating for many people, which can make it difficult for your partner to do everyday tasks like making a meal, doing the laundry, or even running to the grocery store. Helping perform these basic tasks can show your partner that you are a safe support system for them.

Supporting Yourself

The care of your loved one is probably at the forefront of your mind, however, we want to remind you that, as the support person, you need to take care of yourself as well. If you continually give of yourself without taking care of your own needs, you run the risk of becoming burnout. Some ways you can support yourself are:

1. Practice Self-Care: It can be difficult to support a partner who is struggling with depression, and it is important to take care of yourself. Make time for yourself by doing activities you enjoy such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends.

2. Be Patient: Depression is a chronic condition for some people, and it may take time for your partner to feel better. Be patient and supportive, and avoid putting pressure on them to "snap out of it" or "get over it."

3. Educate Yourself: Knowing the signs and symptoms of depression can help you have a better understanding of what your partner may be going through. It can be supportive, as well, to know the treatment options for when your partner is ready to seek additional support. 

4. Seek Support For Yourself: Meeting with a qualified clinician can provide you with a secure and unbiased space for coping with your own emotions around your partner's depression. They can also give you tools to utilize in your day-to-day life to support your partner and possibly take a little weight off of your shoulders.

Supporting a partner who is struggling with depression can be a difficult and emotionally exhausting experience, but it is also an opportunity to show compassion and love to your partner which can bring strength to your relationship in the long run. By giving them your care and attention you can make a significant difference in their recovery journey. Remember to also take care of yourself and seek support when needed. Above all, know that you and your partner are not alone in this journey and that with patience, understanding, and persistence, you can work together to overcome the challenges of depression and build a stronger, more resilient relationship.

If you are in need of support, please contact one of our clinicians here at Life By Design Therapy. We offer online and in-person services for those who live in California. We also have a website full of resources for you and your partner to navigate this journey.

Surviving Burnout: Tips for Thriving in a Fast-Paced World

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you feel like you are empty, lacking motivation, and mentally exhausted? More than likely you are experiencing burnout. Unfortunately, life keeps pushing forward, and it becomes difficult to pour from an empty cup. This can become very overwhelming for many. You might desire a break to be filled again, but if you lack the opportunity for that break, what can you do to fill your cup again? In this blog, we will provide you with the tools to refresh even when you don’t have the opportunity to truly slow down. 

What is Burnout? 

Burnout is a feeling where your mental and emotional state is depleted and it becomes exhausting to even perform basic day-to-day tasks. The feeling of burnout can be caused by many things such as your job, home life, financial hardships, personal problems, or a combination of these. It can have a significant impact on your daily life, leading to feelings of frustration, irritability, and disengagement from work or personal relationships. It's incredibly common to feel overwhelmed and depleted especially when you’re constantly putting others before yourself.

What Can You Do To Support Yourself? 

If you're experiencing burnout, you must recognize the symptoms and take steps to prevent it from negatively impacting your daily life. Here are some practical strategies to help you cope with burnout:

1. Take Time For Yourself: It's essential to prioritize self-care and take time for yourself. This can include engaging in activities that you enjoy, such as reading, taking a bath, or going for a walk. Make sure to set aside time each day for self-care, even if it's just 10 minutes.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and sensations throughout your body. Practicing mindfulness can help you reduce stress, improve your mood, and increase your overall well-being. There are many mindfulness practices, including meditation, deep breathing, and yoga.

3. Set Boundaries: This is a BIG one! It’s okay to say “no”. It's important to set boundaries in your personal and professional life to prevent burnout. This can include saying no to extra work or social engagements you don't have the time or energy for or setting limits on how much time you spend on certain activities.

4. Get Enough Sleep: Getting enough sleep is important for optimal health in general, but prioritizing sleep can help your brain reset allowing clarity for the following day. You can do this by establishing a regular sleep routine, avoiding caffeine before bedtime, and creating a relaxing sleep environment.

5. Engage In Physical Activity: Regular physical activity can help reduce stress, and improve your mood. Even just a 10-minute walk can have significant benefits.

6. Seek Support: If you're feeling burnt out, it's important to seek support from friends, family, and even a therapist. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you feel less isolated and more supported.

We understand that burnout can have a significant impact on your daily life, but there are practical strategies that you can use to cope with it. By prioritizing yourself you can prevent burnout from negatively impacting your well-being. If you are needing support with moving forward out of your burnout state, consider reaching out to one of our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy. In conclusion, we want you to know that you are not alone and we are here to be a resource and support in your journey. We also have additional resources throughout our website such as links to mediation videos, a free downloadable eBook, and blogs that target more specific areas you might need support with. 

Beyond the Blues: Exploring the Impact of Depression on Your Life

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Depression, What Is It?

Depression is a serious (but common) medical illness that affects how someone feels, thinks, and acts. In general, depression causes feelings of sadness and an overall loss of interest in activities that you may have previously enjoyed. Depression impacts each person differently and may even look different at various stages of your life.  The length of time someone may experience depression can also vary from person to person; Some people may be able to overcome their depression within a matter of months while others may take longer. No matter what someone’s journey with depression may look like, it is important to be able to recognize the symptoms and the effects that it has on the body. Some of the symptoms related to depression vary from mild to severe, and can include the following:

• Changes in appetite

• Loss of energy

• Feeling fatigued

• Difficulty concentrating

• Feeling sad

• Trouble sleeping or too much sleep

• Thoughts of worthlessness, guilt, or suicidality

What Does Depression Do to the Brain?

While many associate only emotional or mental symptoms with depression, research states that it may also impact our brain. There is still much to be learned about the specific areas of the brain that are affected by depression, and how much they are affected. However, there is growing evidence that different parts of the brain may shrink, change in structure, and/or become inflamed in people with depression. These changes in the brain can lead to problems with memory, learning, and overall mood. Scientists are not yet sure if these changes have the potential to be permanent, but there is hope that treatment may help prevent or ease some of the changes that happen to the brain.

What Treatment Exists for Depression?

Treatment for depression can consist of different approaches, but primarily consists of two options, therapy and medication. Depending on what works best to address an individual’s symptoms, therapy and medication can be used individually or in combination as part of their treatment plan. The main therapeutic approaches for depression include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) 

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

• Holistic and Somatic (body-based) Psychotherapy

Medications for depression, also known as antidepressants, primarily work by increasing chemical levels in the brain called neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters are linked to mood and emotions. Antidepressants address different symptoms, and usually fall within the following categories:

• SSRI’s: Addresses symptoms of depression and anxiety

• Antidepressants: Addresses symptoms of depression and may help with other chronic conditions

• Anxiolytic: Addresses anxiety, tension, and may promote sleep

• Antipsychotic: Addresses symptoms of certain psychiatric conditions

When therapy and/or medication are used as treatment to address someone’s depression, research shows that it can reduce inflammation in the brain that was originally caused by depression.  Engaging in therapeutic interventions may also help form new synaptic connections in the brain that were affected by depression. This can help an individual experience a drastic improvement in their overall mood and energy levels. No matter what your treatment plan looks like, addressing your symptoms with therapy or medication can help begin to minimize the toll that depression can take on the body.

I’m Not Sure How to Get Started…Where Can I Get Help?

In order to properly address depression, it is important that you speak to your doctor, therapist, and/or psychiatrist to find the treatment approach, or approaches, that work best for you. For individuals who would like to explore taking medication, it’s important to learn the side-effects that may be associated with each medication, and understand that it may take time to find the right medication for their individual needs. If you or a loved one is currently experiencing sympthttps://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/depression-therapyoms of depression, our therapists at Life by Design would be happy to connect with you and help guide the journey to healing and improved Mental Health. Click here for more information. 

Beyond the Surface: Identifying Common Triggers for Depression and Their Impact

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Did you know that approximately 10% of Americans live with depression, and encountering situations that trigger their depression can be very common. If you feel as though you are in the 10%, you are not alone. Depression can often be triggered by a stressful or negative life event. Learning about common triggers can help individuals who experience depression avoid, or mitigate for, a depressive episode. Below you will find a list of 5 common depression triggers and skills to help address them:

1. Overwhelming/Stressful Tasks: Coming home to a messy apartment or being scheduled to work overtime for the 3rd day in a row can create high levels of stress and leave you feeling overwhelmed. Creating boundaries around what you can and cannot do can help address these types of stressful situations before they become a depressive episode. Saying “no” to additional overtime opportunities, or deciding to clean your apartment one room at a time are both examples of boundaries you can set with others and with yourself to begin tackling these stressful scenarios. 

1. Lack of Sleep: Research shows that a lack of sleep can directly affect an individual’s depression. Having a consistent sleep schedule, including a set bedtime and wake time can help improve your chances at getting enough sleep. Implementing a consistent routine before bedtime can also help teach your body when it is time to go to bed. This can include a warm bath at the same time every evening, or turning on a lavender-scented diffuser before getting into bed. 

2. Financial Hardship: Financial hardships, especially when unexpected, can create high levels of stress for any individual. A few skills to address finances include creating a monthly budget and reviewing it routinely, looking into community resources that provide payment assistance with certain household bills or necessities, and engaging in low-cost or free activities so that finances do not limit you from making plans with friends or loved ones. 

3. Significant Life Events: Life changes that are unexpected and out of your control can leave you feeling lost or unsure of how to process these changes. In times like these, it is important to connect with friends or loved ones not only to receive love and support, but also to have a listening ear from individuals that you trust. A divorce, a loss of a loved one, or a change in careers require major life decisions. Surrounding yourself with individuals you trust can provide you with the best opportunity to make rational decisions in the midst of stressful times. 

4. Drug/Alcohol Use: The use of alcohol or drugs can trigger or make depressive episodes worse. If you have a medical provider that you trust, we encourage you to schedule an appointment. Talking to a therapist or mental health professional can also be a great option to address alcohol or drug use. 

Not all of the triggers listed above may apply to you, so we encourage you to learn more about your common triggers and possible skills to help address them. If you find yourself needing support with figuring out what your triggers are, or would like to learn more strategies to cope with them, we encourage you to book a phone consultation today at Life by Design. Life by Design offers therapeutic services with qualified professionals that can give you the tools you need to help address your triggers and depression. Book a phone consultation today for more information and let’s get you connected to additional support. 

Depression in the Digital Age: Understanding How Social Media Impacts Mental Health

by Melody Wright, LMFT

Have you ever found yourself feeling particularly sad, frustrated, upset, or just overall drained after browsing through Instagram or Facebook? There’s a reason for that. Recent studies have shown a correlation between social media use and depression. While Social Media apps themselves may not be causing depression, the amount of media that we consume may leave us feeling more insecure, exhausted, and socially isolated due to a lack of direct social interaction with others. All of these factors can directly contribute to feelings of sadness and depression. 

Spending an increased amount of time on Social Media apps can affect us in more ways than one. Depending on the accounts that you usually follow, seeing an influx of seemingly “perfect” individuals can affect how we perceive ourselves and our overall self-esteem. Constantly checking social media apps may also be creating disruptions in our day, which in turn creates an inability to focus on our tasks. This may lead to less free time to focus on things that bring us joy, such as connecting with others or spending quality time with loved ones. Increased screen time close to our bedtime may also create disruptions to our sleep, including less overall sleep time. Lack of sleep can at times be a contributing factor to depression.  

Now that you know how social media may be impacting your overall health and ability to connect with others, what can you do about it? If you want to work on decreasing your social media use, or being more intentional about the accounts you follow, try some of the following tips:

1. Set aside a specific time of the day to check your apps. This will help you limit your overall social media consumption and still give you time to check-in on your apps. If you can choose a specific day of the week where you don’t check social media at all, even better!

2. Spend time on a screen-free hobby. Whether it’s 30 minutes or an hour, set aside time every week to “unplug” and practice a hobby. 

3. Put your phone outside of your bedroom at night. Leaving your phone outside of your bedroom will minimize screen time use right before bed, helping you fall asleep faster and minimizing disruptions to your overall sleep.

4. Follow accounts or friends that add value. One of the positive things about social media is that you can choose who to follow and what content to see. If you find yourself feeling upset or overwhelmed by following certain accounts, try muting or unfollowing them altogether. 

5. As best as possible, try not to share everything going on in your life. Limiting what you post may help you be more present during important moments in your life where you would usually spend time trying to capture the “perfect photo” to post,  

Changing your social media habits and overall screen time can be really difficult, especially when you’ve made it part of your daily routine. If you’ve tried some of the strategies listed above and still find yourself taking in more screen time than you would like, you may benefit from some additional support. The therapists at Life By Design can help you create strategies to reduce your social media intake, and support any feelings of frustration or sadness that you may currently be experiencing. Schedule a phone consultation today for more information. 

The Five Gates of Grief: Navigating Loss and Embracing Healing

by Ashley Gregory, LMFT

How to Learn About Death 

At some point as a young person, were you also absolutely fascinated by Ancient Egypt? Perhaps your sixth grade history class was also woefully uneventful before learning about mummification, hieroglyphics and golden sarcophagi (plural for sarcophagus). Honestly, what I remember most is what it meant to me to be talking about death. 

At that time, I had not lost anyone close to me; there were no friends or family members I knew who had died. I did not know what to do if someone were to die. There was no guide or practice to lean on. I only knew to hope that no one close to me would die before I figured it out or someone told me. The Ancient Egyptians, on the other hand, knew how to prepare their beloved for death. Some part of me longed for direction around such a profound life event. I had so many questions -- questions that had yet to take shape in words, yet were becoming louder in my being. 

In his book The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Willer introduces the “Five Gates of Grief.” When I first heard of the gates of grief, I remember feeling relieved. Finally, I thought, an invitation to grief that is open to everyone. The gates offer structure to the shared woundedness in our human experiences, pointing us to healing in ways that are both profoundly unique and exquisitely collective. As you become familiar with the Five Gates of Grief, I invite you to notice what arises in your experience and to be gentle with yourself in the process. 

The First Gate: Everything We Love, We Will Lose

For Weller, the first gate is the gate most popularly acknowledged--it is the grief of when we lose something or someone we love. That something can be a tangible thing or an idea about ourselves in the past, how things used to be. Whatever it was, it meant something to us. It met our need for beauty, perhaps, or for choice or for order. Loss of a way things once were may describe an experience of illness. It is at this gate that we are confronted with impermanence. Essentially, “everything is a gift, and nothing lasts (24).” It is change that is most reliable because nothing and no one lasts forever. 

The Second Gate: The Places That Have Not Known Love

Grief at the second gate is about the parts of us who “have been wrapped in shame and banished to the farthest shores of our lives (31).” We enter this gate by designating parts of us as despicable and unloveable. What would happen if we listened to these parts? What would it take for us to acknowledge the worthiness of our most despised aspects of ourselves? Much of the time, the exiled parts of us are those who have suffered the loss of tender touch or soothing embraces. These parts are the young ones who made sense of harsh words or persistent betrayals by blaming themselves. These are the experiences of what is known as developmental trauma--ruptures in our sense of self, in the way we understand the world and who we can count on to protect us. What do we need to do in order to approach our exiled parts and reassure them of their worthiness?

The Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World

It is at the third gate that we acknowledge losses on a planetary scale. Weller asserts that “Whether or not we consciously recognize it, the daily diminishment of species, habitats, and cultures is noted in our psyches. Much of the grief we carry is not personal, but shared, communal (46).” In our fast-paced world, how often is it that we pause to honor the grief arising from the streams, mountains, oceans and land? Entering grief through this gate means opening ourselves up to profound feelings of despair and awe. “Remembering our bond with the earth,” Weller suggests, “helps heal our bodies and souls (52).” 

The Fourth Gate: What We Expected and Did Not Receive

The fourth gate speaks to our felt sense of emptiness, of isolation embodied in the fractured relationships with all life and the instability of societies prioritizing profit over collective well-being. “Our profound feelings of lacking something are not a reflection of a personal failure, but the reflection of a society that has failed to offer us what we were designed to expect (Weller, 53).” We are designed for connection and contribution. For thousands of years, humans relied on one another to flourish. Not until relatively suddenly in our long history have many of us lived in a way which denies our unique gifts. To be known and to be seen through creativity, play and story is familiar and soothing. What might it mean for you to explore your sense of purpose?

The Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief

At the fifth gate we acknowledge the grief of our ancestors, an acknowledgment of the ways we have taken on their suffering. It is also where we face the monumental injustices of our past, the violence and systematic assaults of war, colonialism, slavery and genocide. “The long shadow of this violence persists in our psyches, and we need to address it and work with it until there is some genuine atonement for these wrongs (Weller, 68).” Lastly, this gate offers an invitation to re-establish awareness of one’s roots while mourning the loss of our ancestors. 

Our Grief is Worthy of Attention

Comparison and dismissiveness lay the foundation for dis-ease. Drawing our attention to and offering compassion towards our own suffering does not diminish our care and consideration for the suffering around us. In truth, we are all worthy of attending to what brings us to the gates of grief. 

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How to Support Your Teen with Their Depression

By Melody Wright, LMFT

As our children grow into teenagers, they go through many changes that can challenge even the most well-intentioned parents. Some teens deal with pressures with a few difficulties while other teens present symptoms of depression. When parents reach out to their struggling teens, this may lead to a negative outcome to what they intended was support.

While teens are known for their moody and unpredictable behaviors, it is important to distinguish between typical teen behavior and teen depression.

WHAT ARE THE COMMON CONTRIBUTIONS TO TEEN DEPRESSION?

The first step in dealing with a teen who may have depression is to understand what contributes to teen depression.

• Lacks self-esteem – May not accept compliments or is defensive when you offer help.

• Bullying at school – Makes comments about altercations with other students or skipping classes to avoid the ones who bully.

• Struggles to fit in with peers and dealing with peer pressure.

• May believe parents do not understand – Comments are, “You just don’t get it.” Or “Everything is fine.”

• Sibling rivalry at home or constantly being compared.

• Frustration with teachers and not feeling supported.

• Navigating their identity and sexuality

• Changes in their body and self-image.

• Exhibiting anxiety about their future from high expectations around academics.

If you suspect your teen is suffering from depression and you offer help, do not take it personally if they are not open to your support.

DAILY STRESS FOR TEENS

Things such as fitting in with peers can play a significant role in their view of how important they are.  If your teen is struggling with bullying, this quantifies these inferior feelings on a large scale. Children with a learning disorder may get made fun of in class, or more in the locker room, the playground, the bus, or gym when teachers are not present. 

If an older sibling at home picks on them, this creates more stress and feelings of low self-worth.  Even younger siblings can generate aggravation in your teen. Frequent fighting among siblings heightens stress levels for teens and other family members as well. 

At school, some teachers may not be as understanding of each teen.  Or maybe there is a subject your child is not fond of, and they associate the issue with the teacher and may skip class.  

With the physiological changes inside their bodies, the additional stresses at school and cultural norms combined is the perfect storm for any teen to navigate.  No matter what your child is facing, you as their parent are their most significant source of support, understanding, and direction. As much as teens may reject help, a parent must remain reliable, consistent, and understanding.  

COMMON SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS TO LOOK FOR WITH TEEN DEPRESSION

• Intense emotions (crying spells, angry outbursts, a constant expression of annoyance and frustration) that may appear for no apparent reason.

• They lose interest in previous activities.

• Isolation from friends and family.

• They feel worthless.

• Extremely self-critical or self-blaming.

• Sleeping a lot, having low energy, or continually feeling tired.

• Self-harming behaviors like cutting.

• Acting out or using drugs and alcohol.

• Conflict with friends or family.

• They give less attention to their appearance, including hygiene.

• Struggling academically and having frequent absences.

• Complaints of physical pain such as headaches or body pains.

WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY TO SUPPORT YOUR TEEN

Let your teen know that you love and accept them no matter what. If your teen is struggling to open up, try in the car, at the table during a meal or when just spending time with them, talk about insignificant subjects at first. Some teens are more receptive in this manner.

When they shut down, let them know you are there when they are ready to talk and don’t take it personally when they won’t. Have more casual conversations with your teen and show an interest in what they share with you for more insight into what is on their minds. Practice the art of active listening. As parents, we may be quick to fix their problems or tell them to get over it. Sometimes lending your ear can mean the world of difference to them.

Ask what areas you can help with for more support. Sometimes teens have a difficult time asking for help or are unsure how to bring it up. Instead of assuming they have it all figured out, keep checking in and asking.

HELPING TEEN DEPRESSION WITH THERAPY

If you’re concerned about your teen, talk to them about it. You need not wait until their symptoms get worse; reach out to a therapist. Our holistic and somatic therapists at Life By Design Therapy are experienced in the struggles for today’s teens. We can provide a safe place for your teen to explore and better understand their struggles with depression. Having this additional point of view will give a better understanding so you can bridge the gaps in the communication and help your teen through their depression. Contact us today for an appointment in Berkeley or Richmond, California.

THERAPY REFLECTIONS

1. What can you do today to show your teen you are available?
2. When was the last time you spent quality time alone with just you and your teen?
3. Have you noticed any of the signs of teen depression in your teen?
4. Are there any conversations you are uncomfortable having with your teen?
5. Are there any emotions your teen exhibits that may trigger you and make it more difficult for you to be present with them?
6. What can you do more of that will show your teen you care about them and love them unconditionally?

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