When the Past Resurfaces: Managing Triggers from the Past in the Present Moment

By Melody Wright, LMFT

As most of us do our morning scroll through our news and social media apps, we can see there is a substantial amount of events that we are constantly being exposed to. Whether these events are on an international level, such as war or tension between nations, a national level, such as politically charged or party-driven bills that are controversial in nature, or at a local level, such as riots as a result of police brutality, all of these events can trigger negative feelings or reactions. This is especially true if your past involves a traumatic event that is similar in nature to that of current events. 

Of course, while the media may be responsible for sharing and keeping us updated on current events, it’s us that has the responsibility to process the information that is delivered to us. Sometimes, this means that we need to process any negative feelings that may have been brought up in the course of receiving updates on current events. For an individual who has been targeted by law enforcement as a result of their race, watching a news segment on police brutality can be an extremely stressful experience that can trigger their past trauma. If you’re finding yourself struggling with current events triggering past trauma, below are some coping skills you can practice:

• Practice Mindfulness: Using mindfulness practices when you are feeling a rise in your stress or anxiety levels can be a great way to interrupt your negative thoughts and bring you back to the present. Breathing techniques or guided imagery are great options that can be easily used no matter where you are. 

• Set News or Social Media Boundaries: If you’re finding yourself feeling overwhelmed after scrolling through news and social media apps every morning, you may want to set boundaries around how you are using your time. Reducing your social media usage, changing the time of day in which you scroll through apps, or removing certain apps can help you limit the impact that these apps have on your overall mood. 

• Attend a Workshop or Support Group: There is great value in finding a community of people who share similar concerns, backgrounds, or experiences to you and are dedicated to providing support. Participating in a workshop or Support Group that focuses on the reason for your past trauma or current experiences can help you learn of what others with similar backgrounds are doing to process their trauma. 

• Consider Professional Help: If you’ve implemented any of the strategies above, or other strategies you’ve learned in the past, and are still having a hard time coping with current events, it may be time to consider professional help. 

Feeling constantly triggered by current events can leave us in a state of high stress and emotional fatigue. While we always encourage that you integrate self-care practices to help provide a sense of peace and balance, we acknowledge that it may not be enough. If you’ve considered talking to a therapist to help you process your current emotional state, now may be a good time to connect with someone at Life By Design. Click here for more information on scheduling a consultation.

Practical Ways to Cope with Political Threats to Women's Rights

by Melody Wright, LMFT

The recent threats against Roe vs. Wade have made many women feel as though their bodies, rights, and reproductive health are under attack. While this may not be the first time that women have felt personally affected by a potential impact on our current rights and access to reproductive health care, it feels increasingly difficult to cope with politically-driven threats after all that has occurred in this country over the last couple of years. Decisions related, but not limited to, the Covid pandemic, women’s rights, and immigrant’s rights have all been highly politicized, to the point where one can feel that decisions are being made for us solely based on a political agenda that may not align with our needs or opinions. This can leave many women feeling concerned and overwhelmed by the prospect of losing rights that are strongly advocated for. 

Watching constant news updates regarding the political threats against women’s rights can leave you feeling powerless and concerned for the future. If you feel a calling to help advocate for women’s rights in order to cope with the current challenges posed by the political landscape, here are some ways you can do that:

• Volunteer: Look up your local women’s right organization and contact them to see if they have any open volunteer opportunities. This can also be an opportunity to learn more about women’s rights, and help you feel like you are making a positive impact in your community. 

• Speak up: Whether you choose to post about causes that you support on your social media platforms, or write and send letters to your local government representative, using your voice can be a powerful tool to help amplify other women’s voices. 

• Participate in a march or protest: Whenever safe, participating in marches or protests can be a great way to stand up and march for what you believe in. 

• Donate: If you have the resources available, donating to women’s rights organizations is a great way to show your support. This can also be a better fit if you feel that you are not able to donate your time in the way of volunteer work or participation in protests. 

• Self-care, self-care, self-care: Advocacy and activism can be hard work. This holds especially true when you are personally invested in the reasons behind your advocacy. It is important that you prioritize caring for yourself and meeting your needs when doing this kind of work. Whether it’s limiting the amount of time you spend watching the news, or taking time off of work when you feel burnt out, make sure you are intentional about incorporating different self-care strategies and practices into your daily routine. 

You may or may not be ready to participate in activism related to women’s rights, but you can be an advocate for your individual health and wellbeing. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope with the current political landscape and its impact on women’s rights, it may be a good time to schedule an appointment with a therapist. The therapists at Life By Design can help you create strategies to address your current intake of daily news, support any feelings of frustration you may currently be experiencing, or provide you with avenues to channel your views of current politics. We encourage you to book a phone consultation today for more information. 

Embracing Complexity: Challenging Individualism and Embracing Intersectional Perspectives

by Ashley Gregory, LMFT

White Supremacy Culture: Insidious Individualism 

I can recall many times throughout my work with foster system-involved youth of color when I have heard the phrase, “I don’t mean to be racist, but white people…” What they speak to next is often a painful experience; one of being dismissed, harassed or blamed. In these moments, I honestly appreciate that this young person has shared their perspective with me. I usually respond with, “First, it’s okay to talk about race and white privilege, that doesn’t mean you're racist,” followed by listening, empathy and validation while at the same time acknowledging the limitations inherent in my own understanding and experience. Many of the youth I have been fortunate enough to work with are exposed to the same media representations that the rest of us have. The message is that bringing up race is the same as being racist. Talking about white privilege is discouraged in this society because acknowledging white supremacy undermines present day policies and practices. The culture of white supremacy stays intact by ahistorical means. Instead of connecting the dots between slavery and the prison system, for example, Black youth are labeled “superpredators,” “thugs” or “gang members.” This kind of thinking keeps the focus off of systems of oppression and privilege, placing blame instead on individual behavior. As a result, in a mind-boggling and heart-wrenching way, the very youth who experience racist violence are saddled with the internalized weight of possibly being seen as racist. 

Everyone Has A Social Location

I describe myself as an able-bodied, queer and cisgendered woman with race and class privilege. I do this because our unique identities matter. I do this because naming and framing the ways each of our experiences shows up in our relationships is key to building trust. 

There are aspects of someone’s social location which are perceived from those outside of one’s self, the parts of us that society has rigid standards around, like someone’s perceived ability. Noticing that someone uses a wheelchair, for example. Then there are those which are not perceived or known explicitly unless that person reveals them. For example, someone who grew up without access to adequate housing or enough food. There are countless examples of the ways in which our social locations create the lenses through which we see the world. Your personal map, or frame, may include: age, size and shape, involvement with different systems (such as the legal system), religion/spirituality, family history, socio-economic class background and current class status, racial, ethnic and cultural identities, SOGIE (sexual orientation, gender identity and expression), HIV status, educational level, disabilities (both perceived and experienced), mental health, support networks, trauma history, language, immigration status, work history and experiences with discrimination and oppression (beFIERCE!). 

What is important to remember is that frames are not neutral. Imagine another map or frame placed on top of your personal one. This second frame reflects the prevailing power dynamics in a society. In other words: who has access to the most time, space or money? Who is seen as an authority figure? Who gets their needs most consistently met? For whom are our neighborhoods built around? For many people, especially for those who receive the most institutionalized privilege within a given society, navigating the complexities of identity creates discomfort. Confronting the relationship between histories of oppression and one’s individual experiences may be simultaneously very uncomfortable and incredibly liberating. 

The Personal Has Always Been Political

Getting honest about social location opens the possibility for empathy, understanding and transformation in part because it means getting clear about the connection between the “personal” and “political.” Black feminists working to end racism, sexism, homophobia and classism broke open the illusion of separateness between daily life and the political arena. In 1977, “The Combahee River Collective Statement” gave rise to the term “identity politics.” In their statement, collective members discuss how their own complex identities reflect “interlocking” systems of oppression. As Black lesbians, collective members highlighted the impossibility of fighting dehumanization from one identity at a time. Consequently, they point out that “If Black women were free, it would mean that everyone else would have to be free since our freedom would necessitate the destruction of all the systems of oppression.” Honoring the lives of activists, artists, writers, educators and healers existing within intersecting oppressions brings clarity to the fight for justice. Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, for example, are remembered for resisting racism, classism, homophobia and cisgendered privilege as manifest in the New York City police department as warriors in the 1969 Stonewall Rebellion. By being unabashedly themselves, they ignited a movement. 

Finding Your Frame: Mapping Your Social Location

Naming your frame is part of an on-going and life-long process. It is a process of connecting with yourself in an effort to understand how you are a part of everyone’s shared stories and experiences. For additional resources and guides as to how to further understand your frame, please see the resources below. 

Using the categories underlined above, what does your intersectional frame look like? 

Which parts of your social location have you pushed away?

Which parts of your social location have you embraced?

How has your social location connected you?

How has your social location isolated you?

References & Resources
beFIERCE!: A Toolkit for Providers Working with LGBTQ Foster Youth by Stephanie Perron, LCSW. (2015)

The Combahee River Collective Statement. http://circuitous.org/scraps/combahee.html

The Cisgender Privilege Checklist. https://wou.edu/wp/safezone/files/2014/06/The-Cisgender-Privilege-Checklist1.pdf

Tema Okun. “White Supremacy Culture.” https://collectiveliberation.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/White_Supremacy_Culture_Okun.pdf

Paul Kivel. “The Costs of Racism to White People.” Paul Kivel outlines the social, spiritual and emotional costs of privilege within a racist culture in his piece “The Costs of Racism to White People.” https://www.collectiveliberation.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Kivel_Costs_of_Racism_to_White_People.pdf

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White Supremacy Culture: A Personal Journey towards Awareness and Accountability

by Ashley Gregory, LMFT

As a queer-identified, able-bodied and cisgendered woman with class and race privilege, I strive to prioritize naming how social locations shape the ways we move and show up in our lives. I believe those of us with privilege(s) are presented with opportunities to examine our values and actions with honesty, humility and openness. My hope with this imperfect piece is to enliven anti-racist study and exploration. Focusing on racial formation and white supremacy culture in this writing is intentional, however, is not meant to downplay or discount the role of intersecting categories of gender, sexual orientation, ability, nationality/immigration status, age, class or religion. In upcoming pieces, I will discuss interlocking systems of privilege and oppression, the origins of identity politics and delve deeper into white supremacy culture. 

Defining Terms

White supremacy culture is the idea (ideology) that white people and the ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and actions of white people are superior to People of Color and their ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and actions.

White supremacy culture is an artificial, historically constructed culture which expresses, justifies and binds together the United States white supremacy system. It is the glue that binds together white-controlled institutions into systems and white-controlled systems into the global white supremacy system. [from Sharon Martinas and the Challenging White Supremacy Workshop] (1)

Unearthing My Privilege

I didn’t grow up wanting to be a psychotherapist. As far back as I can remember, I’ve loved dinosaurs. The movie Jurassic Park came out in 1993, but I am almost positive I knew the word “paleontologist” before then. I remember sitting in a ditch, filling a small plastic tube--the ones used to hold a single rose--with dirt. I grew up going to museums, zoos and libraries. I saw people who looked like me, white and sometimes women, in positions of authority, which gave me a sense of choice and possibility. My life reflected the race, class, citizenship and gender-conforming privileges of my family, privileges with violent histories. 

My Unspoken Questions About Privilege

As a child, messages about cultural acceptance were confusing at best. My Southern California elementary school had a “Multicultural Day” every year where we learned about celebrations and food from around the world. At the same time, I didn’t understand why people around me were so angry when families came to the United States from Mexico. Many of my classmates were from Mexico and Latin America. There were palpable rifts in the process of making friends. There were also moments of possibility. I remember proudly singing songs in Spanish, dressed up as a fairy in a musical production of “Hansel and Gretel.” Something changed in my fourth grade year when suddenly we weren’t speaking Spanish anymore at school. Instead, we focused on glorifying the genocidal California Mission system. Nationalism, racism and xenophobia prevailed and the rift became an abyss. As I look back, there were moments when a part of me felt uneasy and had questions about the messages I heard from the media, from family members and at school about my classmates and their families, yet I wasn’t even sure how to form the words.

Getting Uncomfortable Answers About White Supremacy Culture

Those gut-wrenching “something is wrong here” sensations continued, building up as my home life became increasingly scary and unpredictable. Ultimately, my privilege gave me the opportunity to understand my privilege. The private high school I went to effectively prepared me to attend a state college. My intention was to become a wildlife biologist. Barely a semester into college, that plan began to unravel. Too many questions went unanswered. My first sociology class was like a gateway drug. I needed to understand and Ethnic Studies made the most sense of the world. Native American Studies, Ethnic Studies including Black, Latinx and Asian-American Studies and Women’s Studies arose out of demands for higher education to prioritize the knowledge and experiences within these communities. What I learned was shocking, disorienting and powerful. Coming to terms with having been lied to all your life is overwhelming. Where to direct all the anger, sadness and guilt? Part of my answer was--and is-- to stay committed to understanding, reflecting and acting. 

Why Race was Invented

In their pivotal text Racial Formation in the United States, Omi and Winant stress that “the emergence of a modern conception of race does not occur until the rise of Europe and the arrival of Europeans in the Americas” (2, p.61). When power-hungry European businessmen  came into contact with indigenous civilizations, they found a way to justify mass murder by religious doctrine. Later, when conditions in the United States changed, “European colonial powers established “white” as a legal concept in 1676 after Bacon’s Rebellion, during which indentured servants of European and African descent united against the colonial elite” (3, p.125). Then the wealthy European settler-colonialists gave “white” servants privileges, like land, access to guns and the ability to form militias, effectively squashing the possibility of overthrowing them. Laws made by the wealthy for the wealthy changed the once shared conditions of people from different geographic locations (4). Hence, race is an ever-changing category, created to maintain wealth and power for social, political and economic purposes, enshrined in every aspect of society. 

Understanding The Smog of Cultural Racism

As Beverly Daniel Tatum explains in her book Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? (5), “cultural racism” is a part of our collective experience because it is “like smog in the air.”  This smog is made up of “the cultural images and messages that affirm the assumed superiority of Whites and the assumed inferiority of people of color” (p.6). Dr. Daniel Tatum offers countless examples of the ways in which these unspoken and direct messages, from very early in life, shape identity development. In other words, the smog of cultural racism creates the conditions of how we understand ourselves and one another. 

Taking it Personal: Reflections to Consider

• How have you noticed the social/political/economic categories of race shift in your lifetime?

• What does the “smog” represent to you? 

• How does the smog of cultural racism show up in your life?

• What does it mean to be aware of white supremacy culture?
  
  

There are no swift solutions to doing the work of acknowledging privilege. It is an engaged process of openness to unknown and uncomfortable experiences. Over and over, mistakes will be made. What do you need to keep going? 

In my client-centered work, I strive to maintain an awareness and respect for personal experiences and intersectional identities. I believe healing happens in powerful community action and when we invite ourselves to be fully honest and aware. 

~ Ashley

For more resources and ideas on where to begin/continue:

White Awake     
White Awake is an online platform and nonprofit organization focused on popular education for people who are classified as “white”. We believe this is important because white people are socialized, and awarded limited types of privilege, to align ourselves with the capitalist, ruling class at everybody’s expense. White Awake addresses the particularities of white racial socialization with tools and resources that prioritizes spiritual practice, emotional process, compassion, and curiosity alongside historical analysis and intellectual rigor. 
https://whiteawake.org

Catalyst ProjectCatalyst Project helps to build powerful multiracial movements that can win collective liberation. In the service of this vision, we organize, train and mentor white people to take collective action to end racism, war and empire, and to support efforts to build power in working-class communities of color.
https://collectiveliberation.org

Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ)SURJ’s role as part of a multi-racial movement is to undermine white support for white supremacy and to help build a racially-just society. That work cannot be done in isolation from or disconnected from the powerful leadership of communities of color. It is one part of a multi-racial, cross-class movement centering the leadership of people of color. Therefore, SURJ believes in resourcing organizing led by people of color, and maintaining strong accountability relationships with organizers and communities of color as a central part of our theory of change.
https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org

*The film 13th on Netflix by Ava DuVernay: explores the "intersection of race, justice, and mass incarceration in the United States;" it is titled after the Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, adopted in 1865, which abolished slavery throughout the United States and ended involuntary servitude except as a punishment for conviction of a crime. (https://www.avaduvernay.com/13th/)

*Support: The Sogorea Te Land Trust is an urban Indigenous women-led community organization that facilitates the return of Chochenyo and Karkin Ohlone lands in the San Francisco Bay Area to Indigenous stewardship. Sogorea Te creates opportunities for all people living in Ohlone territory to work together to re-envision the Bay Area community and what it means to live on Ohlone land. Guided by the belief that land is the foundation that can bring us together, Sogorea Te calls on us all to heal from the legacies of colonialism and genocide, to remember different ways of living, and to do the work that our ancestors and future generations are calling us to do. https://sogoreate-landtrust.org/

1.  https://www.dismantlingracism.org/

2. Racial Formation in the United States: From the 1960’s to the 1990’s. Michael Omi and Howard Winant.(1994)

3. Ideas for Action: Relevant Theory for Radical Change. Cynthia Kaufman. (2003)

4. What is White Supremacy? By Elizabeth “Betita” Martinez

   http://www.pittsburghartscouncil.org/storage/documents/ProfDev/what-is-white-supremacy.pdf

5. Beverly Daniel Tatum. Why Are All the White Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?: And other Conversations About Race. (1997)